Heart2Heart
When is the proper time to start courtship?
The Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary defines courtship as the time when two people have a romantic relationship before they get married. By simple interpretation, It is the beginning of a journey to marriage; an act of seeking to gain love or affection with a view toward marriage.
In a nut shell, courtship isn’t a time of experimentation but of exploration and the prelude to a possible engagement. It is indeed the foundation of marriage, because it determines how healthy the union is going to be. Even though, its purpose is to provide a couple time to discover, assess, and evaluate their compatibility as potential lifelong marriage partners; yet courtship is labelled as a deceptive period in a relationship. Interestingly, It is possible to have a good , interesting and exciting courtship and miss it in marriage.
At this juncture, it is imperative to note that no matter how long a period of courtship may be, people will start knowing the real colour after the marriage, however, every road a man takes is as a result of choice, thus this period also can be as a result of choice we make.
Truly, the activity of courtship may not guaranteed engagement or marriage but a controlled step towards it, it must have some objective guides that will allow either party to know the proper time to start and; they are as follows:
When you are close to the end of your learning
Whichever the route one is taking in life, one will need to work hard and focus on the journey before getting into relationship. Courtship becomes a dangerous distraction when it is started too early along the journey of life. It will be better for a student to get to at least 300 Level before engaging in this necessary, important yet distractive adventure.
If your vision is to finish from secondary school and settle down , then being engaged at SSS II may be okay. But for a young man who wants to be an Engineer or Medical Doctor, it will be totally wrong to begin such a relationship by that time.
When you can handle opposite sex effectively
If you cannot control love then do not go into it. I do not agree with the saying that love is blind. Love is not blind, it is the person involve that cannot control himself or herself. Therefore it is not advisable to involve in a race that you cannot run effectively. You should be able to know what is good or bad and as the same time know what to do about it before jumping into it.
When you can boldly introduce him or her
When you cannot boldly and joyfully introduce him or her to your parent, guardian, mentor or people who care for you. It is an indication that it is not yet time. I heard some young people say ” my daddy will kill me if he catches me with opposite sex”. Even if you cannot tell your parent, you should be able to tell your Pastor, Imam or mentor.
A relationship without someone to guide you may end up no where. Anyone who wants to go along in a relationship with you without wanting, especially your Pastor or Imam to know about it is an indication that it is not yet time. Tell him or her to wait until he or she can take you to those people before your acceptance . Secret relationship usually leads to open disgrace, so be wise.
After 24years
If your education is not fast and probably you are yet to gain admission into higher institution by 24, especially for ladies, please at this age whatever you are planning , do not neglect marriage out of it . After twenty four years for a lady in my opinion, should go into a relationship but never do it without pastoral or parent approval.
When you can no longer hold yourself
Sex is not a sin when it is within the context specified by religion and culture. Once you know you can finance yourself because it may not be okay to get married while you are still being spoon-fed by your parent. However, it is better to get married early and avoid fornication than allow sexual pressure to make you fall back from the faith.
When there are resources to maintain it
You do not need to wait until when you build a mansion before you can start enjoying the benefits of marriage, especially, when you have resources to maintain the courtshitowards
Heart2Heart
Chinese woman stuck in blind date’s house after lockdown
Imagine being on a first date you couldn’t end? That’s what happened to a woman in China whose video blogs about going into a citywide lockdown during a blind date have gone viral.
Over 100 virus cases have been reported in the central Chinese city of Zhengzhou since last week, as China battles to contain multiple local outbreaks of the Delta and Omicron variants.
Parts of the city were abruptly placed under lockdown last Wednesday when a woman surnamed Wang was having dinner at her blind date’s house.
“Just after I arrived in Zhengzhou, there was an outbreak, and his community was put under lockdown and I could not leave,” Wang told Shanghai-based outlet The Paper on Tuesday, adding that she went there for a week-long trip to meet potential suitors.
“I’m getting old now, my family introduced me to ten matches… The fifth date wanted to show off his cooking skills and invited me over to his house for dinner.”
Since then, Wang has posted short videos documenting her daily life in lockdown, which show her date cooking meals for her, doing household chores, and working at his laptop while she sleeps in, according to clips published by local media.
So far it seems romance has yet to blossom during their prolonged date, according to Wang who says she’s looking for a more talkative partner.
“Besides the fact that he’s as mute as a wooden mannequin, everything else (about him) is pretty good,” Wang told The Paper. “Despite his food being mediocre, he’s still willing to cook, which I think is great.”
Wang did not disclose her age or the identity of the man in the videos.
Related hashtags have racked up over six million views on the Twitter-like social media site Weibo by Wednesday.
However, Wang said the recent surge in online attention prompted her to remove the videos.
“Friends have been calling him and I think this has definitely affected his life, so I have taken them down for now,” she said in a video posted Tuesday that was widely republished in Chinese local media.
“Thanks, everyone for your attention… I hope the outbreak ends soon and that my single sisters also find a relationship soon.”
Heart2Heart
UAE issues first civil marriage license for non- muslim couple
The UAE issued its first civil marriage license for a non-Muslim couple, state media reported Monday, as the Gulf country seeks to keep its edge over regional competitors.
The United Arab Emirates — where foreigners make up 90 percent of the approximately 10-million population — has been amending its laws to present itself as a modernising force in a largely conservative region.
The official WAM news agency said a Canadian couple were the first to marry under a new law on the personal status of non-Muslims in the Emirati capital Abu Dhabi.
The move “contributes to the consolidation of Abu Dhabi’s position as a world leading destination for skills and expertise from around the world,” WAM said.
Civil marriage in the Middle East, the birthplace of Islam, Christianity and Judaism, is uncommon and usually conducted under a religious authority of one of the three monotheistic beliefs.
Civil marriages are allowed in Tunisia and Algeria.
While some countries in the region allow civil unions based on certain conditions, some only recognise civil marriages conducted abroad and others not at all.
Late last year, the UAE revamped an array of laws in a social liberalisation drive designed to burnish its progressive brand.
These included lifting a ban on unmarried couples living together, loosening restrictions on alcohol and offering long-term residencies.
Earlier this month, the UAE announced it will move to a Western-style Saturday-Sunday weekend.
Starting on January 1, 2022, the Emirates will become the only Gulf country not to observe weekends from Friday, the Muslim day of prayer, to Saturday.
Competition is hotting up as neighbouring Saudi Arabia, seeking to diversify its oil-reliant economy, aims to turn its capital Riyadh into an international hub.
Saudi Arabia has lifted a ban on women drivers and eased its strict Islamic dress code.
Last year, Riyadh said it would not sign contracts with companies that have their regional headquarters outside the kingdom.
Heart2Heart
Happy posthumous birthday, my husband, best friend – Florence Ajimobi pens emotional message to late hubby
I’m glad to be able to write again. I recently reclined into my shell (guess I’m allowed to sometimes, as a human being) but I just cannot let this season pass without saying how special it is, especially because it is your birthday season. Even death cannot stop me from celebrating you.
December 16 has always been one of my favourite days in the year because it is your day and on this day, the children and I get to show you how much we appreciate you for being the best husband and dad in the world. I promise to continue to celebrate this special day as long as there is breath in me.
I look back at your landmark birthdays and I smile at all the beautiful memories.
Your 40th birthday in 1989 was a very special one. It was the first big party we ever hosted. We also used that opportunity to have the house warming ceremony of our Oluyole house. You never liked to be the centre of attraction and kept complaining about having a party and spending so much money after moving into a new house. I didn’t listen to you and went ahead to celebrate you in my own way. I remember vividly, the blue and white lace dress I made for both of us. You came to me during the party and said “Florie this fabric will be very nice as a bedspread so after the party, you can make my agbada into a bedspread”. I asked you why and you said you wouldn’t wear it again as it was too heavy. I just laughed and walked away. But you did enjoy yourself and that was enough for me.
Your 50th birthday in 1999 was also held in Ibadan. We lived in Lagos at that time but every special day of our lives were celebrated in Ibadan. As usual, I went all out to have a party for you and invited all your friends from Lagos and other parts of the country. You danced so well at the party and you were sprayed a lot of money which I gladly kept for myself. After all, I was the assistant celebrant and planner. You had so much fun and told me after the party “Florie I am now beginning to enjoy your parties”. That actually made me happy.
Your 60th birthday was on another level. That was one party you never complained about. You were a politician and we had to accommodate the politicians as well. We had a big party at the Recreation Centre, Ibadan in 2009. Our children, already grown also invited their friends. I saw a different Abiola and I kept wondering how you accepted the entire party plan without complaining. I remember how your mum (of blessed memory) graced the party with her friends from Gbagi. Her gele was ‘Onile Gogoro’. It was enormous and beautiful. No one needed to be told that Mama was very proud of you. You both even had a mother and son dance (at a birthday party). You were happy and kept saying, “Thank you Florie” even days after the party.
On your 69th birthday, we decided to have a roundtable, as opposed the usual birthday party and during the roundtable, you said, “Florie, this is how I want to celebrate my birthday every year – I don’t want a party, I want something intellectual.” I remember murmuring to myself, ‘here he goes again, Efiko’ but I knew that I would do everything within my power to make it happen again.
The next roundtable on your 70th was organized by the children without any input from us. Initially, you were paranoid about them doing this but at the end of it all you were thrilled at the fact that our children proved that they could handle such an important event on their own. You said, “Florie, now you know my children are not spoilt – they organized this event without us and it is the BEST PARTY ever.” I was elated to see you beaming with joy and most importantly, pride.
I am thankful to God that even without you here, I have the grace and strength to do what I enjoy doing – telling the world how special you are to me and how you will live in my heart forever. Shame on you, Death! You can never kill my LOVE for Abiola Adeyemi Ajimobi.
Then last year, we hosted the first Senator Abiola Ajimobi Foundation (SAAF) Roundtable without you. It was tough but God remained faithful. I cried that morning when I went to the venue to make sure everything was fine. I kept saying to myself, “what will Abiola say?”, “what will Abiola do?” My Abiola was a perfectionist. I am grateful to God that the event went even better than I expected. Thank God for the great support system I have. I couldn’t believe that same venue which was filled with so much joy the previous year was where we were celebrating your posthumous birthday , but who am I to question God?
As we prepare to celebrate you on your 72nd posthumous birthday roundtable, I want to reiterate and reaffirm that you were the best thing that ever happened to me.
You were my perfect man,
My best friend,
My hero!
I will forever love you and hold you in my heart.
Life has not been easy for me and the children without you, but we will continue to hold on firmly to GOD.
Rest on, my ever selfless, loving, caring, protective, dependable and romantic best friend. If there is reincarnation, I will choose you over and over again as my husband.
I love you and I miss you.
Happy Birthday my best friend and soul mate.
Your Masterpiece of Nature,
FFA.
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