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Signs your spouse is cheating : How to catch a cheater.



IT is a known fact today that people go into relationships with a great sense of insecurity. This insecurity occurs either from a residual of previous relationships or other relationship stories that ended in disaster. Cheating and infidelity is however the major cause for breakups that occur in relationships. Study shows that 50-60% of even the most committed men engage in extramarital affairs, while 45-50% of women, also committed, cheat on their partners at a particular point in their relationships, so no sacred cow. Note; a strong relationship is based on trust, care, love and understanding. Therefore, if you noticed any of the things mentioned below and it is so unlike your partner, then he or she might just be cheating on you.

When people lie, they tend to look for various excuses to backup their points. They often tell more than the required in this process. A co-marriage counselor once told me of a client who explained to her that the very first thing she noticed in her husband was his long answers to simple questions. Imagine asking, ‘why are you late?’ and you start listening to a long expository. He or she starts making up stories that is longer than the entire desperate housewives series, then something is wrong. Not only this, they also provide a ready alibi (they become a criminal over-ridden with guilt, but still they try to prove their innocence). Just think of it, why your partner is going through all this just to prove innocence over a relatively simple matter. HONEST PEOPLE GIVE SIMPLE AND STRAIGHTFORWARD ANSWERS.
However, you need to be very careful when using this, he/she may just be trying to prove a point, and so be a good listener. Sometimes, your partner may just be a chatterbox, knowing your partner well enough is required in this regard. Only apply the rule if it is unlike your partner.
Reactions are very difficult to control. It takes an entirely strong personality to do this. Most of our physical reactions occur subconsciously. Therefore, it is important for you to take note of your partner’s body languages, this because in their bid to cook up a good and believable story, they make mistakes, the subconscious however could be your mirror to the truth and a closer watch at facial expressions gives out concealed intentions. This may be all you need to catch a cheater. It includes;
· Uneasiness and fidgeting
· Head or neck scratching
· Avoiding of eye contact
· Trying to hide face
·Getting handy e.g. trying to touch or hold something.
Just look carefully, you will find the hidden truth through their nervousness
However, in cold weather conditions, some of the aforementioned attributes may occur, due to exposure to atmospheric conditions. Therefore, ascertain that it is actually nervousness that is responsible for the naivety and fidgeting.
Sometimes we do have smart cheats. They give a convincing story without fidgeting. To nail this set of people, you need to repeat your questions after sometime. Once you notice any inconsistency, then he/she is a lying bastard. They do bring out new facts and new stories, they sometimes forget the golden rule of a liar, ‘do not forget’. In addition, once they feel you are catching up on them, they tend to give you the guilt stricken lines, ‘don’t you think I am telling the truth?’ or ‘don’t you trust me anymore?
In this case however, no reversal, they either give you a consistent answer or they are cheats. Justmake sure your questions are statement-like, do not accuse.
In this case, you have only one suspect, your partner, not an invincible criminal.
Therefore,check every details yourself i.e. the odometer, credit card details, look at the clothes for strange smells and stains.
However, do not get caught in the act, because it may totally ruin tour relationship, so play it cool, nice and smart.
Remember, do not accuse your partner, have a very strong proof before doing so. Give your suspect a lot of time, space and situations to make a lot of errors.RELATIONSHIP IS ALL ABOUT TRUST.
Feel free to post your comments, share your thoughts and question the author. I will be available to give answers. Thank you for reading.
By Oyekunle Oyeniyi.

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When is the proper time to start courtship?




The Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary defines courtship as the time when two people have a romantic relationship before they get married. By simple interpretation, It is the beginning of a journey to marriage; an act of seeking to gain love or affection with a view toward marriage.

In a nut shell, courtship isn’t a time of experimentation but of exploration and the prelude to a possible engagement. It is indeed the foundation of marriage, because it determines how healthy the union is going to be. Even though, its purpose is to provide a couple time to discover, assess, and evaluate their compatibility as potential lifelong marriage partners; yet courtship is labelled as a deceptive period in a relationship. Interestingly, It is possible to have a good , interesting and exciting courtship and miss it in marriage.

At this juncture, it is imperative to note that no matter how long a period of courtship may be, people will start knowing the real colour after the marriage, however, every road a man takes is as a result of choice, thus this period also can be as a result of choice we make.

Truly, the activity of courtship may not guaranteed engagement or marriage but a controlled step towards it, it must have some objective guides that will allow either party to know the proper time to start and; they are as follows:

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When you are close to the end of your learning 

Whichever the route one is taking in life, one will need to work hard and focus on the journey before getting into relationship. Courtship becomes a dangerous distraction when it is started too early along the journey of life. It will be better for a student to get to at least 300 Level before engaging in this necessary, important yet distractive adventure.

If your vision is to finish from secondary school and settle down , then being engaged at SSS II may be okay. But for a young man who wants to be an Engineer or Medical Doctor, it will be totally wrong to begin such a relationship by that time.

When you can handle opposite sex effectively

If you cannot control love then do not go into it. I do not agree with the saying that love is blind. Love is not blind, it is the person involve that cannot control himself or herself. Therefore it is not advisable to involve in a race that you cannot run effectively. You should be able to know what is good or bad and as the same time know what to do about it before jumping into it.

When you can boldly introduce him or her 

When you cannot boldly and joyfully introduce him or her to your parent, guardian, mentor or people who care for you. It is an indication that it is not yet time. I heard some young people say ” my daddy will kill me if he catches me with opposite sex”. Even if you cannot tell your parent, you should be able to tell your Pastor, Imam or mentor.

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A relationship without someone to guide you may end up no where. Anyone who wants to go along in a relationship with you without wanting, especially your Pastor or Imam to know about it is an indication that it is not yet time. Tell him or her to wait until he or she can take you to those people before your acceptance . Secret relationship usually leads to open disgrace, so be wise.

After 24years

If your education is not fast and probably you are yet to gain admission into higher institution by 24, especially for ladies, please at this age whatever you are planning , do not neglect marriage out of it . After twenty four years for a lady in my opinion, should go into a relationship but never do it without pastoral or parent approval.

When you can no longer hold yourself 

Sex is not a sin when it is within the context specified by religion and culture. Once you know you can finance yourself because it may not be okay to get married while you are still being spoon-fed by your parent. However, it is better to get married early and avoid fornication than allow sexual pressure to make you fall back from the faith.

When there are resources to maintain it

You do not need to wait until when you build a mansion before you can start enjoying the benefits of marriage, especially, when you have resources to maintain the courtshitowards

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Marriage: Should couples operate joint bank accounts?



Marriage is the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship, specifically between a man and a woman. 

Traditionally, when couples get married they tactically merged their money. This serves as a symbolic gesture of showing the union of two people in one unit. However, research has revealed that more than 42% of people in marriage with joint accounts also operate separate accounts. Should we now say operating a joint account with a spouse is a blessing or a curse?.

Interestingly, operating a joint account has its pros and cons. The symbolic gesture gives access to money whenever its needed as both party has the right to deposit and make withdrawals at will. Also, there is little or no way of encountering financial surprise as you both know when money goes in and out of the account.

To some extent, it also builds up the level of trust you both have for each other. Trust plays a significant role in the overall happiness of the couple as marriage is a lifetime commitment. Spouse feels more comfortable to know that he or she is committing to someone he/she can trust and confide thoughts, feelings and worries to.

Despite its pros, having a joint account (s) with your spouse can also result to loss of financial independence especially early in marriage. In a related development, it can also give rise or bring about rift in marriage especially when they don’t tell each other what the money withdrawn is used for.

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While interacting with married couples on this contentious issue, to my amazement few people were in support of Joint Account especially the female folks. At this point, what is trust in a marriage?

Opening a Joint Account is not a bad idea, but there must be some laid down rules to make it work.

There should be an agreement between you and your spouse on what percentage of your monthly take home should be dropped into your Joint Account and also the money has to be used for the purpose it was meant for, which may include house upkeep, payment of school fees for the children and every other things to be attended to in the house. In fact, it saves the hassle of sending money to each other and also makes it easier to keep track of your joint monthly spending.

Then the remaining percentage can be used for other personal matters. This in turn will make your home stronger as you will both feel responsible. No doubt, you will both trust each other and you will also discover that you will live happily.



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NAFDAC boss recommends capital punishment for fake drug manufacturers, dealers 



The Director-General of the National Agency for Food and Drugs Administration and Control,NAFDAC, Professor Mojisola Adeyeye  on Tuesday recommended capital punishment for fake drugs manufacturers and dealers in the country.

According to the NAFDAC boss,  this will serve as deterrent to those she labeled “merchants of death” and put an end to the unwholesome production and marketing of fake drugs.

Professor Adeyeye who.featured in a special interview programme on the Television and Radio Channels of the Broadcasting Corporation of Oyo State, BCOS  and monitored by Mega Icon magazine  disclosed “NAFDAC is working on more intense punishment on fake and hard drugs.The existing penalty for drug pedlling is not stiff enough.  I’m not against capital punishment for drug peddlers. Some hardened drug peddlers deserve capital punishment.

“We will not hesitate to close all the lines of companies falsifying drugs.The war on fake drugs is a marathon.It is all over the world.”

The NAFDAC Director-General while speaking on the prevalence rate of fake drugs in the country explained that “the prevalence rate of falsified products is about 10 per cent,meaning one in every 10 drugs being manufactured in Nigeria is fake.This figure is less worldwide.”

While x-raying the activities of the regulatory agency,she disclosed that in 2019,NAFDAC intercepted and destroyed fake drugs worth one point three trillion Naira adding that the Inspection and Enforcement Directorate of the agency is being strengthened to curb the activities of fake drug manufacturers and dealers.

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On NAFDAC’s intervention in the global search for solution to the coronavirus pandemic,Professor Adeyeye said as a vibrant member of the global community,Nigeria is also in the race for global cure for COVID-19.

She said “clinical trial treatment is going on in different parts of the country. NAFDAC reviews protocol to ensure subjectand patient is protected.”

“For instance,the clinical trials going on in Lagos involves Chlo to qui me and other therapeautics.”

She added that about 90 countries are currently working on vaccine research and production but regretted that Nigeria which had been in the forefront of vaccine production for 50 years was not presently in the race.

The Professor of Pharmaceutics kicked against the use of foreign herbal medicine to cure the ravaging coronavirus in Nigeria,saying”we should search for our own local medicine which may have same effectiveness.

She however said the agency was still waiting for samples of Madagascar COVID Organics which will go through safety studies and possibly clinical trial to ascertain its safety for use by patients.

Professor Adeyeye while commenting on the possible benefits of chloroquine and remdesivir in the treatment of COVID-19 said remdesivir is not yet commercially available and very expensive while the use of chloroquine is limited to clinical trial setting and not should be used unless prescribed by a physician.

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