MARRIAGE is a formal union between a man and woman which is recognized by custom, religion and law. Our discussion for this edition will be based on love and money in relation to marriage. Love and money are two things that individuals feel strongly about. A lot of relationships are started because of the need for either of the two. Now the question to be trashed is which one of the two ‘love or money’ should be regarded as the key to a successful marriage.
The dictionary defines Love as “a strong affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons”.
Love is a very important issue in marriage; love comes first in any healthy relationship. Love is a behavior. A relationship thrives when partners are committed to behaving lovingly through continual, unconditional giving. Intimate love emanates from knowledge and giving, it comes not overnight but overtime which nearly always means after marriage. The intensity many couples feel before marrying is usually great affection boosted by commonality, chemistry and anticipation.
These may be the seeds of love but yet to sprout. On the wedding day, emotions run high, but true love should be at its lowest, because it will hopefully always be growing, as husband and wife gives more and more to each other. ‘Love is for better or worse which means till death do us part, but today love is for better or best’.
Love should be the criteria for marriage, when there is true love in a marriage, the marriage brings mutual comfort and each member of the family grow as a person in love and security. Loving someone and being in loved brings happiness. Love is essential to the human race. We need to help each other, cooperate with each other, and reaffirm each other. Love finds its natural and proper expression in the union of two persons.
Love is considered to give meaning to life to overcome all obstacles and to offer a share in eternity. Respect for the dignity of the beloved is given in union through marriage.
On the other hand , ‘Money’ can be described as “a person’s wealth, including properties”. Money is an aspect of marriage which must not be neglected.
The main purpose of money in marriage is to provide for the family, have control over the family and make the family comfortable. Money has answers to all things, likewise money is the root of all evil, money has become reason why people kill, steal and destroy. There are so many cases where spouse betray and even kill one another for money; in such marriages do you think love was the foundation or money. Money is one thing that cannot be taken out of marriage. Money fuels the love one has for a spouse.
For most marriages, money has the main contention as some people say ‘no money, no love’, money prevail love in today’s society but come to think of it, for instance, it is believed that you can get all you want through money, money can generate love but can it buy love?. If love is like religion, then it cannot be bought nor can it be negotiated and compromised, Love seems to be similar to both, but identical to either.
Money is still very essential in marriage because with money you can finance the family, make connections for the family and also make lovely home. But if money is said to answer all things ‘why do you think we have high rate of divorce among the rich families?’
The role of money in generating or in transacting loving relationships is expressed, for example, in the content of personal advertisement seeking romantic partners, thus, the requirement that prospective partners are financially secure is often mentioned in adverts placed by women.
Indeed, while both men and women consider good looking partners, some consider other qualities, such as status and money, to compensate for looks. It is interesting to note that many men prefer a spouse who makes less money than they do and whose occupational status is low than theirs.
But this is due to men’s concern about their self-esteem rather than to the issue of love. It might, however, be indicated that money influence the generation of love. Money can improve our situation in a way that gives us more occasions for happiness but all the same can it be all it takes to have a happy and successful marriage.
At this junction, is it true that “true love can never be bought by gold or silver” nor should we say “money answered everything”?
Agreeing with various opinions, love is said to come first in any relationship, so it should be the most paramount criteria for successful marriage. Following the views, love should not be one-sided which means that “love is like a rubber band held at both ends by two people and when one leaves it hurts the other”.
Despite all that have been discussed, the decision still depends on individual. Love, accompanied with understanding and a bit of adjustment, makes a marriage go a long way, with money to handle the cost of transportation, of course. The two aspects, love and money is a decision you cannot make for any one depending on the relationship.
To make the point, if you were stuck on a desert island, would you rather have N1billion or some water and a raft? I think it’s more about understanding the emotional response that money causes in people and how this influences love.
However, the goal of a person is to find someone that has a total package that is valuable to a person, no matter whom you choose there are upgrades out there in certain areas.
There is someone with better heart, someone with better looks, someone with more money and someone who is better at making you a better person. It all comes down to the balance at all attribute that are desirable to a person which means despite what has been said this issue still depends on individual interest. The most important is to find the best package for yourself; this does not mean that anyone is perfect in all areas.
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