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LOVE OR MONEY, which is of more value in marriage?

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MARRIAGE is a formal union between a man and woman which is recognized by custom, religion and law. Our discussion for this edition will be based on love and money in relation to marriage. Love and money are two things that individuals feel strongly about. A lot of relationships are started because of the need for either of the two. Now the question to be trashed is which one of the two ‘love or money’ should be regarded as the key to a successful marriage.

The dictionary defines Love as “a strong affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons”.

Love is a very important issue in marriage; love comes first in any healthy relationship. Love is a behavior. A relationship thrives when partners are committed to behaving lovingly through continual, unconditional giving. Intimate love emanates from knowledge and giving, it comes not overnight but overtime which nearly always means after marriage. The intensity many couples feel before marrying is usually great affection boosted by commonality, chemistry and anticipation.

These may be the seeds of love but yet to sprout. On the wedding day, emotions run high, but true love should be at its lowest, because it will hopefully always be growing, as husband and wife gives more and more to each other. ‘Love is for better or worse which means till death do us part, but today love is for better or best’.

Love should be the criteria for marriage, when there is true love in a marriage, the marriage brings mutual comfort and each member of the family grow as a person in love and security. Loving someone and being in loved brings happiness. Love is essential to the human race. We need to help each other, cooperate with each other, and reaffirm each other. Love finds its natural and proper expression in the union of two persons.

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Love is considered to give meaning to life to overcome all obstacles and to offer a share in eternity. Respect for the dignity of the beloved is given in union through marriage.

On the other hand , ‘Money’ can be described as “a person’s wealth, including properties”. Money is an aspect of marriage which must not be neglected.

The main purpose of money in marriage is to provide for the family, have control over the family and make the family comfortable. Money has answers to all things, likewise money is the root of all evil, money has become reason why people kill, steal and destroy. There are so many cases where spouse betray and even kill one another for money; in such marriages do you think love was the foundation or money. Money is one thing that cannot be taken out of marriage. Money fuels the love one has for a spouse.

For most marriages, money has the main contention as some people say ‘no money, no love’, money prevail love in today’s society but come to think of it, for instance, it is believed that you can get all you want through money, money can generate love but can it buy love?. If love is like religion, then it cannot be bought nor can it be negotiated and compromised, Love seems to be similar to both, but identical to either.

Money is still very essential in marriage because with money you can finance the family, make connections for the family and also make lovely home. But if money is said to answer all things ‘why do you think we have high rate of divorce among the rich families?’

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The role of money in generating or in transacting loving relationships is expressed, for example, in the content of personal advertisement seeking romantic partners, thus, the requirement that prospective partners are financially secure is often mentioned in adverts placed by women.

Indeed, while both men and women consider good looking partners, some consider other qualities, such as status and money, to compensate for looks. It is interesting to note that many men prefer a spouse who makes less money than they do and whose occupational status is low than theirs.

But this is due to men’s concern about their self-esteem rather than to the issue of love. It might, however, be indicated that money influence the generation of love. Money can improve our situation in a way that gives us more occasions for happiness but all the same can it be all it takes to have a happy and successful marriage.

At this junction, is it true that “true love can never be bought by gold or silver” nor should we say “money answered everything”?

Agreeing with various opinions, love is said to come first in any relationship, so it should be the most paramount criteria for successful marriage. Following the views, love should not be one-sided which means that “love is like a rubber band held at both ends by two people and when one leaves it hurts the other”.

Despite all that have been discussed, the decision still depends on individual. Love, accompanied with understanding and a bit of adjustment, makes a marriage go a long way, with money to handle the cost of transportation, of course. The two aspects, love and money is a decision you cannot make for any one depending on the relationship.

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To make the point, if you were stuck on a desert island, would you rather have N1billion or some water and a raft? I think it’s more about understanding the emotional response that money causes in people and how this influences love.

However, the goal of a person is to find someone that has a total package that is valuable to a person, no matter whom you choose there are upgrades out there in certain areas.

There is someone with better heart, someone with better looks, someone with more money and someone who is better at making you a better person. It all comes down to the balance at all attribute that are desirable to a person which means despite what has been said this issue still depends on individual interest. The most important is to find the best package for yourself; this does not mean that anyone is perfect in all areas.

 

(C) Mega Icon Magazine.

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When is the proper time to start courtship?

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The Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary defines courtship as the time when two people have a romantic relationship before they get married. By simple interpretation, It is the beginning of a journey to marriage; an act of seeking to gain love or affection with a view toward marriage.

In a nut shell, courtship isn’t a time of experimentation but of exploration and the prelude to a possible engagement. It is indeed the foundation of marriage, because it determines how healthy the union is going to be. Even though, its purpose is to provide a couple time to discover, assess, and evaluate their compatibility as potential lifelong marriage partners; yet courtship is labelled as a deceptive period in a relationship. Interestingly, It is possible to have a good , interesting and exciting courtship and miss it in marriage.

At this juncture, it is imperative to note that no matter how long a period of courtship may be, people will start knowing the real colour after the marriage, however, every road a man takes is as a result of choice, thus this period also can be as a result of choice we make.

Truly, the activity of courtship may not guaranteed engagement or marriage but a controlled step towards it, it must have some objective guides that will allow either party to know the proper time to start and; they are as follows:

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When you are close to the end of your learning 

Whichever the route one is taking in life, one will need to work hard and focus on the journey before getting into relationship. Courtship becomes a dangerous distraction when it is started too early along the journey of life. It will be better for a student to get to at least 300 Level before engaging in this necessary, important yet distractive adventure.

If your vision is to finish from secondary school and settle down , then being engaged at SSS II may be okay. But for a young man who wants to be an Engineer or Medical Doctor, it will be totally wrong to begin such a relationship by that time.

When you can handle opposite sex effectively

If you cannot control love then do not go into it. I do not agree with the saying that love is blind. Love is not blind, it is the person involve that cannot control himself or herself. Therefore it is not advisable to involve in a race that you cannot run effectively. You should be able to know what is good or bad and as the same time know what to do about it before jumping into it.

When you can boldly introduce him or her 

When you cannot boldly and joyfully introduce him or her to your parent, guardian, mentor or people who care for you. It is an indication that it is not yet time. I heard some young people say ” my daddy will kill me if he catches me with opposite sex”. Even if you cannot tell your parent, you should be able to tell your Pastor, Imam or mentor.

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A relationship without someone to guide you may end up no where. Anyone who wants to go along in a relationship with you without wanting, especially your Pastor or Imam to know about it is an indication that it is not yet time. Tell him or her to wait until he or she can take you to those people before your acceptance . Secret relationship usually leads to open disgrace, so be wise.

After 24years

If your education is not fast and probably you are yet to gain admission into higher institution by 24, especially for ladies, please at this age whatever you are planning , do not neglect marriage out of it . After twenty four years for a lady in my opinion, should go into a relationship but never do it without pastoral or parent approval.

When you can no longer hold yourself 

Sex is not a sin when it is within the context specified by religion and culture. Once you know you can finance yourself because it may not be okay to get married while you are still being spoon-fed by your parent. However, it is better to get married early and avoid fornication than allow sexual pressure to make you fall back from the faith.

When there are resources to maintain it

You do not need to wait until when you build a mansion before you can start enjoying the benefits of marriage, especially, when you have resources to maintain the courtshitowards

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Marriage: Should couples operate joint bank accounts?

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Marriage is the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship, specifically between a man and a woman. 

Traditionally, when couples get married they tactically merged their money. This serves as a symbolic gesture of showing the union of two people in one unit. However, research has revealed that more than 42% of people in marriage with joint accounts also operate separate accounts. Should we now say operating a joint account with a spouse is a blessing or a curse?.

Interestingly, operating a joint account has its pros and cons. The symbolic gesture gives access to money whenever its needed as both party has the right to deposit and make withdrawals at will. Also, there is little or no way of encountering financial surprise as you both know when money goes in and out of the account.

To some extent, it also builds up the level of trust you both have for each other. Trust plays a significant role in the overall happiness of the couple as marriage is a lifetime commitment. Spouse feels more comfortable to know that he or she is committing to someone he/she can trust and confide thoughts, feelings and worries to.

Despite its pros, having a joint account (s) with your spouse can also result to loss of financial independence especially early in marriage. In a related development, it can also give rise or bring about rift in marriage especially when they don’t tell each other what the money withdrawn is used for.

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While interacting with married couples on this contentious issue, to my amazement few people were in support of Joint Account especially the female folks. At this point, what is trust in a marriage?

Opening a Joint Account is not a bad idea, but there must be some laid down rules to make it work.

There should be an agreement between you and your spouse on what percentage of your monthly take home should be dropped into your Joint Account and also the money has to be used for the purpose it was meant for, which may include house upkeep, payment of school fees for the children and every other things to be attended to in the house. In fact, it saves the hassle of sending money to each other and also makes it easier to keep track of your joint monthly spending.

Then the remaining percentage can be used for other personal matters. This in turn will make your home stronger as you will both feel responsible. No doubt, you will both trust each other and you will also discover that you will live happily.

 

 

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NAFDAC boss recommends capital punishment for fake drug manufacturers, dealers 

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The Director-General of the National Agency for Food and Drugs Administration and Control,NAFDAC, Professor Mojisola Adeyeye  on Tuesday recommended capital punishment for fake drugs manufacturers and dealers in the country.

According to the NAFDAC boss,  this will serve as deterrent to those she labeled “merchants of death” and put an end to the unwholesome production and marketing of fake drugs.

Professor Adeyeye who.featured in a special interview programme on the Television and Radio Channels of the Broadcasting Corporation of Oyo State, BCOS  and monitored by Mega Icon magazine  disclosed “NAFDAC is working on more intense punishment on fake and hard drugs.The existing penalty for drug pedlling is not stiff enough.  I’m not against capital punishment for drug peddlers. Some hardened drug peddlers deserve capital punishment.

“We will not hesitate to close all the lines of companies falsifying drugs.The war on fake drugs is a marathon.It is all over the world.”

The NAFDAC Director-General while speaking on the prevalence rate of fake drugs in the country explained that “the prevalence rate of falsified products is about 10 per cent,meaning one in every 10 drugs being manufactured in Nigeria is fake.This figure is less worldwide.”

While x-raying the activities of the regulatory agency,she disclosed that in 2019,NAFDAC intercepted and destroyed fake drugs worth one point three trillion Naira adding that the Inspection and Enforcement Directorate of the agency is being strengthened to curb the activities of fake drug manufacturers and dealers.

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On NAFDAC’s intervention in the global search for solution to the coronavirus pandemic,Professor Adeyeye said as a vibrant member of the global community,Nigeria is also in the race for global cure for COVID-19.

She said “clinical trial treatment is going on in different parts of the country. NAFDAC reviews protocol to ensure subjectand patient is protected.”

“For instance,the clinical trials going on in Lagos involves Chlo to qui me and other therapeautics.”

She added that about 90 countries are currently working on vaccine research and production but regretted that Nigeria which had been in the forefront of vaccine production for 50 years was not presently in the race.

The Professor of Pharmaceutics kicked against the use of foreign herbal medicine to cure the ravaging coronavirus in Nigeria,saying”we should search for our own local medicine which may have same effectiveness.

She however said the agency was still waiting for samples of Madagascar COVID Organics which will go through safety studies and possibly clinical trial to ascertain its safety for use by patients.

Professor Adeyeye while commenting on the possible benefits of chloroquine and remdesivir in the treatment of COVID-19 said remdesivir is not yet commercially available and very expensive while the use of chloroquine is limited to clinical trial setting and not should be used unless prescribed by a physician.

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