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The Day I Almost Died In An ‘Action Movie’ | By Olawale Sadare

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Until mid 1980s, the Nigerian Army 2nd Mechanized Division was located where we now have the headquarters of Ibadan North East Local Government council. What used to be an Army barracks harboured offices, training grounds, shooting ranges, orchards and other military facilities including a Mammy market and Army Children’s Schools which I attended between 1982 and 1988 after I had been made to waste two years in some formal elementary schools.

For every pupil of that particular school in those days, the fear of a single military man (Sergeant Shittu) was the beginning of wisdom though it came to a point that he had to be supported by another discipline czar and flogging wizard (Sergeant Segun). The duo could instil discipline on a lifeless body as it were but trust school children, we would still beat them to it on several occasions as we would be found wanting in one way or the other. Our popular criminal offences included; coming late to school, overstaying on the soccer pitch after break time, wandering aimlessly around, entering swampy farmland close to BCOS (Ile-Akede) fence to harvest sugarcane which belonged to unknown farmers, engaging in fights with fellow pupils, disturbing the peace of the classrooms, being found in company of domestic thieves among other juvenile ‘crimes’.

I started a new life in School 1 (1982) and later School 12 (Afternoon session), School 6 and finally School 5. In all of this, I had the privilege of being taught by the best hands who included Mr. Babalola, Mrs Jegede, Mrs Akinwale, Mrs Sadare (not a relation), Mrs Ojo, Mrs Olayinka, Miss Hassan, Mr Aluko, Mrs Abolade, Mrs Olanrewaju, Mr Ayorinde, Mrs Osunkunle, Mrs Olagunju (our Quintessential Headmistress) and many others. There was a day my late cousin (Sade) found a new N20 note inside a gutter on our way to school and seven of us (including two aunties who became grannies long ago) shared from the largesse satisfactorily. Oh, Sade could discover lost money hidden beneath the lowest layer of soil or rock pedestal… May her gentle soul rest in peace.

It was about this time that two female teachers fought a colleague of theirs over me. It was getting to the end of the academic session and we must act the Jesus play. Mrs Olayinka (Mommy Gbenga) wanted a brilliant me to act Jesus but the other two teachers opposed her vehemently. “A Wasiu with tribal mark can never be our own Jesus Christ… It is not about being brilliant and smart please”, one of them had thundered. I ended up acting one of the three wise men who later delivered ‘Wura, Turari ati Ojia’ to the one they anointed to replace me after the first day practice which I did very well. Meanwhile, I can still recognize the two haters if I come across them tomorrow and I would not say more than this here. Lol.

Yes, how can I forget an amoeba-like female teacher whose main hobby was to fish out witches and possessed female pupils who she would parade around for several hundreds of people to identify and begin to ostracize them? How can I forget a day when pupil Dominic raped a female colleague and was caught in the act? How can I forget Ebenezer, Dare Adeonigbagbe and others from School 1 who would always lay claim to the good portion of the biggest soccer pitch? How can I forget a day when Baruwa broke the arm of Ade to show the then garrulous mates from School 1 that we in other Schools were no second class citizens? How can I forget the mad rush for Akara Iyadunni, Ice Kongi, Eekanna Asa, Eja Dindin, Tabataba? How can I forget that the whole of Oluyoro High School was relocated to a segment of our expansive school land and rechristened Army Barracks Grammar School in 1985?

Before the final relocation of the Nigerian Army 2nd Mechanized Division from Iwo Road to Odogbo, we the pupils of Army Children’s School used to feel like children of soldiers not only because we had classrooms and play fields inside the barracks but also due to the fact that the men in uniform would do anything to make us have care and discipline. However, wandering and loose movement around their offices and strategic was totally prohibited as only pupils whose dad or mom was a military man or civilian personnel could go near such places with proper identification. But I use to follow the like of Akibu Bello, Felix Sareowo, Samsideen Raji, Ezesobor Omoikhudu, Cliff Ejatewvho and few others who had access to the whole place since their parents were Officers and staff. Adamu and Shuaib were typical Barrack boys who used to take me along whenever they needed to visit their dad who was a soldier. The two brothers were Hausa and they were popular for some elementary physical magical displays as pupils.

Now the real gist here, Mrs Abolade was my class teacher at Primary 4 and she was an excellent woman who knew how to impart knowledge into her pupils. There were concrete structures arranged lane by lane with each building having two blocks of classrooms. By that time, most of these buildings had had some of their parts vandalized by some enfant terrible who were pupils of the same school. These devilish kids would not go home after school hour but stay back to do all sort of repugnant things. They destroyed wooden doors and windows, broke ceilings, dug holes on buildings and shattered the cemented floors of most of the classrooms.

The same set of mannerless children were also in the habit of forcing their way into any classroom and mess up the either the floor or pieces of furniture with faeces as it were. This became the case immediately soldiers were made to relocate from our school environment and all shades of acts of indiscipline began to raise their ugly heads among the school population and the neighboring communities.

Anytime we reported for class in a new day and teachers or pupils began to perceive obnoxious odour of faeces, we would have to clear the mess first before normal classwork would start. Boys would fetch water for girls to do the cleansing while teachers would stay away until the foul odours were totally gone. Rather than abate, the shameful development continued as some of us (pupils) later saw it as an opportunity to ‘escape academic work’. Sad enough, the ‘invisible’ culprits raised their game and took to climbing the ceilings to defecate. This posed a new challenge as only boys could make it into the ceilings to do the evacuation of faeces.

On a particular Thursday, we marched down into the classroom from the Assembly Ground only to be confronted with offensive smell. We embarked on a fruitless search to locate where the human waste products were deposited but we could not find anything in any of the lockers, desks and containers on the ground. Then, the two female teachers picked about seven good boys to move up into the ceilings and bring down the ‘substances’. With automatic alacrity, we found our way into the dark arena where there was insufficient fresh air to breathe in. We acted as expected by breaking the points where the mountains of faeces were deposited and those on ground started received same in batches. Those bad boys must have come in their threes or fours to perpetrate the evil act.

But rather than come down after we had got rid of the whole mess, we decided to stage an action movie. The seven of us began a hide-and-seek expedition inside the ceilings. Each one of us turned a gunman and started to shoot at each other by matching two fingers together, pointing same at one another and shoot to ‘kill’. One would shoot his ‘enemy’ and when the victim refused to show a sign of being hit by a ‘bullet’, the one who ‘pulled the trigger’ would say in hush tone; “mo ti pa e joor!” and other person would reply; “iro ni, emi ni mo koko yinbon fun e joor”. This ‘action movie’ continued for about five minutes and those on the ground floor didn’t know anything.

Going forward, I thought about what to do to become the ‘Actor’ who can never die in a film and I moved to the darkest part inside the ceilings. In the process of trying to hide at a safe ‘place’, I left the log path for an unsupported ceiling plate platform and before anyone could call ‘Jack’… the plate paved way and I fell from the roof top only to land on the five-step stair case at the entrance of our classroom. I came down heavily, landed on my head and hit my occiput on the sharp edge of a step. Confusion ensued in the whole school environment but I was able to get help immediately from some medics. All the films actors were asked to come with their parents but it was only me who didn’t bring anyone. They beat me until they got tired… Until about 12 years later, that part of my head would pose a medical challenge and this caused my mom a lot of stress. The scar is still feasible till tomorrow and if you like, look out for it whenever you meet me in town!

 

Wasiu Olawale Sadare, Journalist and Media Consultant writes from Ibadan, Oyo state

 

 

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Opinion

NASS Pensioners: How Akpabio, Abbas Should Not Treat The Elderly

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On Monday and Tuesday last week, workers and political operatives within the precincts of the new Senate building in the National Assembly complex, Abuja, were treated to a replica of the Theatre of the Absurd. This type of drama originated in Europe and later spread to America in the 1950s. It was influenced by existential philosophy and Albert Camus’s essay The Myth of Sisyphus.

In that work, Camus captured the fundamental human needs and compared the absurdity of man’s life with the situation a figure of Greek mythology, Sisyphus found himself, where he was condemned to repeat forever the task of pushing a boulder up a mountain, and repeatedly sees the same roll down the hill as he approaches the top.

He, thereafter, juxtaposed life’s absurdities with what he called the “unreasonable silence” of the universe to human needs and concluded that rather than adopt suicide, in frustration, “revolt” was required.

82-year-old Dr. Muhammed Adamu Fika, former Clerk to the National Assembly and former Chairman, of the National Assembly Service Commission (NASC), who calls himself the “smaller Adamu Fika,” must have come across the Camus essay in deciding to lead an emergency meeting of the Council of Retired Clerks and Secretaries of the National Assembly on November 18. The emergency meeting, which was jointly held with members of the Association of Retired Staff of the National Assembly was meant to salvage the pathetic plights of the National Assembly retirees.

Eighty-two-year-old Fika can hardly gather the pace to navigate round the corners of the National Assembly, but he insisted on making the trip to enable him to preside over the meeting as the Chairman of the Board of Trustees of the Council of Retired Clerks and Secretaries. As his retiree colleagues, many of whom are far younger, saw him struggling to walk the required distance from the Bola Ahmed Tinubu Library, originally fixed as venue to the new Senate building, they had to provide some shoulders to lean on. At one stage, an office chair was converted to a wheelchair to ensure the elderly Fika got to certain locations. It was a sad tale, especially if you look at the essence of Fika’s trip to the National Assembly. He was there to preside over a meeting to press home the need for the payment of the entitlements of National Assembly retirees. An alarm had earlier been sounded on the different Whatsapp platforms of the retired workers of the National Assembly to the effect their members were dying in numbers. It was revealed that no fewer than 20 retired workers had died awaiting the payment of their entitlements in the recent past. Another set of retirees numbering 12 were said to have been bedridden in different hospitals across the land. That alarm was more than enough to prompt Fika and his retiree colleagues to an emergency meeting. But the sight of an elderly man, fighting a just cause on an improvised wheelchair was more than absurd.

Payment of the entitlements got stalled after former President Muhammadu Buhari assented to the National Assembly Service Pensions Board Act, 2023, which mandated the National Pensions Commission (PENCOM) to hand over assets of the staff of the National Assembly in its custody after the passage of the National Assembly pension law.

In the beginning, there were no signs that things would go south on the implementation of the Act. Three months after the National Assembly Service Pensions Board Act came into effect, PENCOM had written the management to convey its decision to hand off the pension assets of the staff of the National Assembly, while requesting the National Assembly management to provide it with account details to remit the accrued funds. The 10th Senate and the House of Representatives also provided hope for the retirees by providing a take-off grant to the tune of N2.5 billion in the 2024 budget. However, the NASS management could not comply with the request from PENCOM because the Pensions Board had not been inaugurated. Months after months, the retirees waited. Those who were already enjoying their benefits when PENCOM was administering had the payments terminated, while the waiting game ensued.

In trying to fast-track the implementation of the Act, Fika, as the Chairman of the Board of Trustees of the Council of Retired Clerks and Secretaries had forwarded a letter to the President of the Senate, Godswill Akpabio, and the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Tajudeen Abbas, intimating them of the council’s recommendations for positions in the National Assembly Service Pensions Board.

Fika said in the letter, dated February 27, 2024, that “Considering the pathetic health conditions of our retired colleagues, Your Excellency will agree with me that the establishment of the National Assembly Pensions Board is overdue five (5) months after Mr. President’s assent.” He said that his letter was premised on the provisions of Sections 2 and 17(3) of the National Assembly Service Pensions Board Act, 2023, which indicate that the presiding officers of the National Assembly shall make the appointments subject to recommendations of the Council of Clerks and Secretaries. But some persons are insinuating that the undue delay might have been instigated by two strange bedfellows-politics and money. Where the two are involved, simply things hardly follow a straight course. However, nothing justifies the nearly 20-month delay in inaugurating the Pensions Board.

At the end of the emergency meeting on Monday, further meetings were said to have been scheduled at the instance of the Senate President, Akpabio, his deputy, Jibril Barau and others but there were no conclusive steps, yet.

A communique released after the meeting indicated that the retirees observed that the National Assembly Service Pensions Board Act, 2023 went through full legislative process in the 9th National Assembly and was assented to by President Muhammad Buhari. It further noted that the delay in implementing the Act has caused undue and untold hardship to the retirees who are unable to access their retirement benefits, adding that while a number of the retired Staff have died, many others are bedridden due to sufferings occasioned by the non-payment of their entitlements.

According to the communique, the meeting decried the pains the retired staff have been subjected to and recalled that appropriate recommendations as per the composition of the Pensions Board have been made to the Presiding Officers of the National Assembly, in line with the enabling Act.

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The Fuji Music House Of Commotion

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Like every lover of Yoruba traditional music, language and culture, I have of recent been inundated with requests to lend a voice to the newest raging fire in the Fuji music genre. Since the passage of Alhaji Sikiru Ayinde Balogun, popularly known as Ayinde Barrister or Agbajelola Barusati, there have been longstanding tiffs on whom of the trio of Ayinde Omogbolahan Anifowose, KWAM 1; self-named King Saheed Osupa (K.S.O.) and Wasiu Alabi Pasuma, was the “King.”

These musicians’ recent quest for supremacy is not new. From time immemorial, supremacy battles have been part and parcel of Yoruba music. Apparently now tempered by modernity, in the olden days, the battles were fought with traditional spells, incantations and talisman aimed at deconstructing and liquidating their rivals. Mostly fought on genre basis, I submit that pre and post-independence entertainment scene would have been livelier, far more robust than it was but for the acrimonious liquidating fights of those eras.

In the Sakara music, Abibu Oluwa, a revered early precursor of this Yoruba musical genre, who reigned in the late 1920s and 1930s, had Salami Alabi Balogun, popularly known as Lefty Salami, Baba Mukaila and Yusuff Olatunji as members of his band. Oluwa praise-sang many Lagos elites of his time, especially Herbert Macaulay to whom he sang his praise in the famous track named “Macaulay Macaulay.” In it, he sang the foremost Nigerian nationalist’s alias of Ejonigboro – Snake on the Street and prayed that he would not come to shame.

Sakara also produced the likes of S. Aka Baba Wahidi, Kelani Yesufu (alias Kelly). It was sung with traditional Yoruba instruments like the solemn-sounding goje violin whose history is traced to the north, and the roundish Sakara drum, beaten with stick and whose appearance is like that of a tambourine. Sakara music is often called the Yoruba variant of western blues music because of its brooding rhythm though laced with a high dosage of philosophy.

When Oluwa died in 1964, he literally handed over to Lefty who, born on October 1913, died December 29, 1981. Lefty, a talking drummer under Oluwa, churned out over 35 records before his demise, one of which was a tribute to Lagos monarch, Oba Adele (Adele l’awa nfe – Oba Adele is the king we want) and another to the Elegushi family. I dwelt considerably on Sakara because it is believed to have had considerable influence on other genres of traditional African Yoruba music, especially Apala and Fuji, with the former sometimes indistinguishable from Sakara.

Apala music, whose exponent is said to be Haruna Ishola, originated in the late 1930s Nigeria. Delivered with musical instruments like a rattle (Sekere) thumb piano, (agidigbo) drums called Iya Ilu and Omele, a bell (agogo) and two or three talking drums, Apala and Sakara are the most complex of these genres of traditional Yoruba music, due to their infusion of philosophy, incantations and dense Yoruba language into their mix. Distinct, older and more difficult in mastery than Fuji music which is considered to be comparatively easy to sing, Ayinla Omowura, Ligali Mukaiba, Kasumu Adio, and many others were Apala leading lights of the time. The three genres have very dense Islamic background.

The latest entrant of all the three genres is Fuji. Pioneered by Ayinde Barrister no doubt, for an Apala musician biographer like me, I am confused that Omowura, as far back as early 1970s, asked listeners in need of good Fuji music to come learn from him – “Fuji t’o dara, e wa ko l’owo egbe wa…” Sorry, I digressed.

While KWAM 1 emerged with his Talazo music from the ashes of his being a music instrument arranger for Barrister’s musical organization in the early 1980s, the feud in the house after Barrister’s death erupted when narratives allegedly oozed unto the musical scene that KWAM 1 referred to himself as the creator of Fuji music. He however promptly denied the claim. For decades, Osupa and Pasuma were locked in horns over supremacy of the Fuji music genre. In August 2023, the two however seemed to have decided to thaw their feud as they shared stage with Wasiu Ayinde, at Ahmad Alawiye Folawiyo, an Islamic singer’s 50th birthday celebration in Lagos. KWAM 1 glibly acted as their senior colleague at the event.

As an indication that they are no bastards of the teething and recurrent supremacy battles that emblemize traditional Yoruba music, the three Fuji music icons seem to have gone into the trenches again. It first started with Taiye Currency, an Ibadan-based alter-ego of Pasuma picking a fight with the musician who self-styled himself Son of Anobi Muhammed’s Wife. In a viral video, Currency had disclaimed reference to Pasuma as his “father” in the music industry. In another video not long after, KWAM 1, like some kind of father figure, was shown asking Currency to apologize to Pasuma.

A few days ago, a video of Osupa went viral. Therein, he was chastising a particular hypocrite he called “Onirikimo” and “alabosi”, who is “stingy and is ready to shamelessly collect money from those under him.” Osupa also claimed that this “shameless elder” had strung a ring of corn round his waist and should be ready to be made fun of by hens. Watchers of the endless tiffs among these Fuji icons swear that KWAM 1 was the unnamed Fuji musician Osupa was casting aspersion on.

The trio of Sakara, Apala and Fuji music also witnessed such petty squabbles. While many claim that the fights were promotional gambits aimed at having their fans salivate for their hate-laced musical attacks against one another, some others claim that the rivalries were genuine. In the Apala music scene, Haruna Ishola and Kasumu Adio fought each other to the nadir, with Adio, who sang almost in the same voice and cadence as Ishola, suddenly vamoosing from the musical scene. Rumours and speculations had it then that a mysterious goat bit Adio and rendered him useless. While Ayinla Omowura also fought Fatai Olowonyo, Fatai Ayilara, among others in the Apala genre, the duo of Yusuff Olatunji and S. Aka also feuded till their last days. This is not to mention the interminable fight between Kollington Ayinla and Barrister.

If the tiff between the trio of KWAM 1, Osupa and Pasuma is about age and Yoruba traditional respect for elders, KWAM 1 would easily go away with the trophy of the best of the three. However, if philosophical depth, musical elan, research of lyrics and deployment of Yoruba language are at issue, none of the other two musicians can unbuckle Osupa’s sandals. Osupa began his musical career in 1983 as a teenager and has gone through the mills, his late father being a musician, too and Awurebe music lord, Dauda Epo Akara’s musical contemporary.

Unlike their predecessors, the three Fuji musicians are literate and should thus address their musical issues in more mature manner. Osupa even recently bagged a degree from the department of Political Science, University of Ibadan. One thing they should know is that, whether one is supreme to the other or not, their fans will readily queue behind the brand that delights them.

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Almajiri: Why Northern Leaders Must Look Themselves in the Mirror

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Two incidents happened during the 1994/95 NYSC service year, which I was part of in Birnin-Kebbi, Kebbi State, and they gave me profound culture shocks that I still remember till today. I would equally say that those incidents probably justified the Federal Government’s decision to float the scheme.

 

We were told that part of the reasons General Yakubu Gowon floated the NYSC was to ensure national integration, cohesion and exposure of young Nigerians to cultures of other parts of the country other than where they were born.

First was the shock of seeing a director that I was attached to in the then Government House, who had just taken a new wife, and sat among drivers, gate men and other junior staff to dine. I saw them seated round a huge iron pot of Koko, a local delicacy, exchanging one big spoon made of calabash, as each took turns to use the spoon to eat the delicacy. It was as if I was witnessing a scene where children of a big family were struggling to catch a portion of food or where people were eating Saara, as they say it in Yorubaland.

As I walked past the noisy crowd, I was transfixed seeing the newly-wedded director among the lot. He saw me standing still, as I couldn’t comprehend what he was doing there, and he got the message. ‘Taiyo, (as he used to call me) you won’t understand,’ he said as he waved to me to keep going. When we later saw, he explained that what he just did was a way of assuring the commoners that ‘we are all one,’ as they felicitated him on the new bride. But I could not fathom how the occupant of a ‘huge office’ as that of a director in a Government House , would sit among “commoners” on a tattered mat to share a single spoon and eat in public.
The other incident was quite pathetic. My friend, Tunde Omobuwa, was posted to a school in Yauri, in the southern part of the state, for his primary assignment. But he found the place boring on weekends. So, he arranged to always be with me on weekends.

One such weekend, we decided to take a stroll round the streets near the Government House. We took off from the place of my primary assignment, the Federal Information Centre; bought corn beside the office, and started ‘blowing’ the ‘mouth organ’ as we strolled. We were too engrossed in our gist and the sweetness of the corn to note that some young boys were trailing us, praying that some leftovers of the corn would drop for them to scavenge. Somehow, the two of us dropped the corn cob almost simultaneously. We were more than taken aback by a commotion that erupted at our back. Four eight or nine year-olds had descended on the supposed leftovers and broken the corn cobs into pieces. I was again transfixed as if one was hit by an electric shock. Remember that feeling when you play with electric fish?

I was moved to tears as I had never ever seen a group of children scavenging on nothing as it were. I beckoned to the kids and offered them N20, which was the highest denomination at the time, and with some smattering Hausa words told them to go buy their own corn from the same place we got ours. As they left, heading to the corn seller, I couldn’t erase that ugly sight from my mind. Was it really possible that some people scavenge on nothing this way? I was later to see incidents of children swarming around restaurants and pouncing on near empty plates.

These incidents told me clearly that the North was a different place and that the life of the boy child is not only risky and endangered but sold to stagnation and deprivation, unless you are one of the lucky few.

Having benefited from the free education policy of the Unity Party of Nigeria (UPN) between 1979 and 1983, when the Second Republic was terminated, I knew that there is a lot the government can do in educating the children. In my secondary school days, I was the Library Prefect at one point, and so I saw an excess of books supplied by the government to our school. So, I was an example of the feasibility of free education. It was the same way the Action Group government had handled education in the years preceding Nigeria’s independence and the First Republic.

So why can’t the state governments in the North declare free and compulsory education for the young ones out there? Why should children be made to scavenge on empty corn cobs just to see if they can find pieces of seeds left over?

And why was my director giving drivers and gate men in the Government House false hope that they were all the same, instead of him to challenge them to seek to lift themselves up the social ladder?
I think there was no excuse for the North not to have adopted a free education policy, just as Chief Obafemi Awolowo did in the South-West. And if we say the North needs to look itself in the mirror, you again remember the efforts by President Goodluck Jonathan to educate the multitude of Northern children through the Almajiri Schools. That government built more than 400 of such schools, which were abandoned because it could upset the oligarchy. The oligarchs forgot the truism that the children of the poor they refuse to train today won’t let their children sleep peacefully.

But the governor of Borno State, Prof Babagana Zulum, appears to have got the message. Last week, I was thrilled to see him organise a summit to reform the Almajiri system.

The Almajiri education system is a traditional Islamic method of learning widely obtained across states in northern Nigeria. Through that system, which is tied to Islamic teaching, youths, especially boys are kept out of the formal western education system. I don’t know why the teachings by Islamic scholars cannot go alongside that of Western education as it obtains in Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq and other Islamic countries that are doing well economically and in the world of science, technology.
While addressing the summit, Zulum had mentioned the need to address the root causes of insecurity through the provision of education for citizens of Borno, adding that improper teaching of Islamic studies has contributed to the emergence of Boko Haram insurgents in the state.

According to him, to curtail whatever is the adverse effect of Almajiri education; the Borno State Government has established the Arabic and Sangaya Education Board to introduce a unified curriculum for Sangaya and Islamic schools. He said that the reform would include establishing Higher Islamic Colleges to cater for Almajiri children and blending the religious teachings with the secular curricula as well as skills.
He said: “The Sangaya Reform is a great development. It will give Almajiri a better chance in life, particularly the introduction of integrating western education, vocational, numeracy, and literacy skills into the centres, which are also described as Almajiri and Islamic schools.

“Distinguished guests and esteemed educationists, government’s intention was to streamline the informal and formal education systems to quality integrated Sangaya School for admission into colleges and universities.”

One would have thought that governors with radical postures like Nasir el-Rufai and others before him would have proposed this type of reform, but it is better late than never. Zulum should be supported to get something out of this.

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