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El-Rufai, Malami, Ayade: Nigeria’s three troublers in one troubling week

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Perhaps if Alois Hitler, father of a man who would later be the albatross of the whole human race, had performed a ritual which the Yoruba call the Ẹsẹ̀ntáyé – a traditional earthly journey investigation – on his son Adolf, six million Jews who were exterminated in excruciating circumstances decades later by same man who grew to become the most notorious troubler of the world, would probably have had their lives spared. Alois’ Austrian-German society of the 19th century ostensibly didn’t believe in Ẹsẹ̀ntáyé and would have thought it to be craps.

Not doing this, it constituted itself to be, for the world, the proverbial offspring of the cobra that is always the harbinger of its death. Adolf Hitler later grew up to become one of the most infernal dictators in human history. With the benefit of hindsight, a spiritual divination of his dastardly mission on earth at his birth on April 20, 1889 would have spared the world of Hitler’s sadism.

With the Ẹsẹ̀ntáyé – literally meaning, touching the earth with the feet – traditional African Yoruba society sought not to be ambushed by an insidious human destiny that could bring society or an individual to ruins. Their belief is reinforced by a worldview that each human being is born to fulfill a purpose or destiny in life, positive or negative. They held that society isn’t only complicit in the way an individual turns later in life, it could also be a bearer of the pall if the individual’s later life turns destructive. To guard against this, the Yoruba society attempted to seek insight into the tomorrow of its children so that it could help redirect the sail of a disaster-prone destiny or help nourish any destiny that was on the right course.

So on the third day after the birth of a child, its parents, grandparents and the Ifa priest, are gathered in a short restricted ceremony to divine what purpose the child had come to fulfill on earth. Chants, rituals and sacrifices were made to the gods and the particular Ifa corpus’ message which reveals the child’s name, destiny and the dos and don’ts of his life, is administered. This was the same ritual administered in Professor Ola Rotimi’s The gods are not to blame on baby Odewale, given birth to by King Adetusa and Queen Ojuola in the land of Kutuje. The Ifa priest, Baba Fakunle, on divining the baby’s Ẹsẹ̀ntáyé, proclaimed that “this child would kill his father and marry his own mother!” It came to pass.

Like the Austrian-German society at Hitler’s birth, Nasir Ahmad El-Rufai’s Daudawa Fulani family, at his birth on February 16, 1960, probably also considered the Ẹsẹ̀ntáyé rituals as some heathen crap. But when I first met him for the very first time in Lagos, sometime in the year 2000, my mind did a psychological and psychoanalytic Ẹsẹ̀ntáyé on the diminutive, brilliant and self-defined man called El-Rufai and my submission was as scary as Baba Fakunle’s spiritual prognosis and projection.

Without any Ifa corpus but armed with logic and perspicacity, I concluded that Nasir, with his Fulani blood, the brilliance, depth and huge appreciation of the contours of Nigeria which he displayed at that forum, would soar very high. Regrettably, I concluded, he would run a leadership that is sans blood flowing in its veins. Like Hitler’s.

It was at the Akodo Resort on the Lagos’ Lekki Peninsula and the Bureau of Public Enterprises (BPE) which the young El-Rufai headed as Director General, had invited journalists to interrogate and appreciate what the newly established BPE was about. At the opening session addressed by the DG, he swept everyone off their feet with his suavity and depth. However, on multi-billion Naira investments of the Nigerian state that had begun to be sold off, El-Rufai spoke like a cold-hearted mortician who had come to embalm the dead. My picture of him, aftermath that encounter, was a man totally drained of blood and human feelings. I left Akodo persuaded that young Nasir was a budding Nigerian German Chancellor and Fuhrer, Adolf reincarnate. So when, years after, he began to exhibit that cold-heartedness, first as Minister of the FCT during which he bulldozed billions of Naira-worth properties, in the name of the law, as if man was made for law and not vice versa; and later, as the Kaduna governor which he administered both as a suzerain and it, his fiefdom, I gloated at having reincarnated as Baba Fakunle.

El-Rufai is brilliant and most likely very accountable in government. A friend who worked with an NGO told me that of all states in Nigeria, his Kaduna is like a Mecca for foreign development partners because his governance of the state approximates and manifests key indices of performance and accountability. These partners underscore those as the KPIs associated with a developing country. That is why, if infrastructure and development were the gauge of governmental success, it is not likely that any state in Nigeria will surpass the miniature-statured Nasir’s Kaduna, just like Adolf conquered the whole world for his Aryan race. However, when it comes to the human elements of governance, the blood touch, El-Rufai scores less than zero. His lack of regards for the other person is huge and his magisterial belief in himself, at the detriment of others’, verges on the arrogant.

When Nasir speaks, he waxes epigrammatic and profound. He does not engage in herd mentality and does not care whose ox gets gored on account of his decision to paddle his canoe alone. For him, a middle of the road in any equation is effeminate. Some people claim that El-Rufai seeks superlatives in all he does due to his scant physical quantity. When Sheik Gumi became the new face of negotiation with bloodsucking bandits in the North and governors were in a stampede to touch the nape of his compromised robe so that the blood flow in their land would cease, due to his atypical reasoning, the Kaduna chief executive told Gumi and all others to go jump inside the river. Bandits should be serially killed and not negotiated with, he proclaimed.

Most certainly as retaliation for his verbal artillery-shelling of their base, kidnappers convoked on his Kaduna for a vengeful retaliation. A few weeks ago, he was asked to react to the killing of three of the kidnapped students of Greenfield University and what further steps his government would take to rescue them. El-Rufai, who had vowed that while other governors were paying multi-million Naira ransom, Kaduna wouldn’t pay a dime, said his government was in amity with the military to flush bandits out and rescue the remaining 17 students. “I was assured by the Air Force and Army that they know where the students are and have encircled them. We are going to attack them. We will lose a few students but we will attack the bandits and recover some,” he had said, (emphasis mine).

The two phrases in the above statement, “lose a few students” and “recover some,” though very honest reality of such military engagements, show who Nasir really is. He does not dress shibboleths that he disbelieves in with any worthy apparel. The question people ask is, those “few students who would be lost,” are they chickens or goats? If he was their parent, would he speak as cold-mindedly as this?

Those who begrudge Nasir’s cold analyses and submissions lose an essential element of his persona.

So when he sacked 5,000 civil servants on a very realistic, pure economic calculation that Kaduna could not continue to bear the burden of a workforce that constitutes just a few percent of its citizens and residents, proceeding last week to unilaterally and magisterially declare the NLC President, Ayuba Philibus Wabba wanted, he was merely manifesting a frozen heart whose arteries are impermeable to human feeling.

To say the truth however, Kaduna had always been that unlucky with its governors. In October, 1997, as Kaduna State military governor under General Sani Abacha, current Customs Controller, Hameed Ali, sacked about 30,000 striking civil servants. He then proceeded to detain 18 local government chairmen and arrested a journalist who reported his Hitleric gangsterism. The poor folk was severely beaten by Ali’s goons and tortured at the Government House.

In that same last week, aside the troublous irritancy of El-Rufai, Nigeria was to contend with another infected mind that oozes putrid odour. Abubakar Malami, Attorney General of the Federation and Minister of Justice, starred shamelessly in that drama. While impugning the decision to ban open grazing by southern governors made in Asaba, Delta State, Malami last week said on a Channels Television programme that the governors’ call was unconstitutional as it violated and denies the rights of Hausa/Fulani herders. Then he made an asinine comparison, for which Nigerians have hoisted him on a well deserved crucifix ever since. “It is as good as saying, perhaps, maybe, the northern governors coming together to say they prohibit spare parts trading in the north,” he had said.

Malami has since got a quantum of deserved ripostes from across Nigeria since he made that mental slip, parceled as verbal shelling of his base. He does not need more from me. The most heroic response he got came from Oluwarotimi Akeredolu, the governor of Ondo State. What made Akeredolu’s response heroic was that it was against-method, something in the mould of philosopher Paul Feyerabend’s argument while canvassing the scientific method of examination of Karl Popper. Like Feyerabend’s, Akeredolu’s intervention was unusual because it upset political mores and governmental behavior that had been the norm in Nigeria overtime. It was sparsely exampled and very unhypocritical. The norm was for governors to nest their views in support of status-quo and hide behind a finger. This they did in the name of political correctness and kowtowing before the almighty Federal Government. Akeredolu chose to repudiate all that and stood behind his people. History will record appropriately that when Nigerian high places became jam-packed with political vultures and fawners, despite the fact that the land is filled with blood of innocent citizens spilled by invading Fulani herdsmen, a governor chose to bond with his people, no matter the systemic frown at it.

As if the menace of El-Rufai and Malami was not enough for a week filled with dispiriting views from Nigerian high places, the Governor of Cross River State, Ben Ayade chose to pollute the already troubled waters. This is not just because he decided to tread the shameless, self-serving path that has become famous with Nigerian politicians. The fad among them is to breakfast with one political party at dawn, have lunch with another by mid-day and dine with yet another by sunset. What however rankles with Ayade is his deployment of the usual brainless justification of such political act, in the service of his political adultery. Hear him: He left the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) for the ruling All Progressives Congress (APC) so as to buoy President Muhammadu Buhari’s “commitment to this country, his nationalistic disposition and all the efforts he has made to bring Nigeria to where we are today, it’s obvious that we should join hands with him to build a Nigeria that we can be proud of.”

From his first word to the last, you could see that Ayade, a former lecturer in the Department of Microbiology, University of Ibadan, merely needed a nationalistic hyperbole to dress his despicable, maggots-oozing sore. This, he did excellently. When politicians, especially governors, take this kind of unpopular, anti-people detour, two issues are likely to be responsible. First is the possibility that the federal eye had sighted cockroaches brimming in their wardrobes and wanted to make an example of them. A party jump is thus quickly resorted to as self bailout. Second is the likelihood that some political scammers had succeeded in fooling the governor that he had been found worthy to step into Buhari’s shoes in 2023. Like they did to Ebonyi’s Dave Umahi.

If not, why would Ayade assault Nigerians with those less-than-sensible reasons for his political adultery? What commitment to country, what nationalism, what effort has Buhari made towards sustenance of Nigeria that needed Ayade’s dalliance? When former colleagues of Ayade’s in UI said they were not surprised at his latter serpentine manifestations in political office as his Ẹsẹ̀ntáyé – judging by his actions while he was a teacher in the university – showed such tendencies, I promptly rested my case.

If you realize that the El-Rufais, Malamis and Ayades constitute the bulk of the cold-blooded sharks that populate the Nigerian political and governmental rivers, why then do we still marvel that Nigeria is neither progressing nor standing still, but regressing fast into unmitigated anomie?

 

Dr. Festus Adedayo, a Scholar, Author and Journalist; writes from Ibadan

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El-Rufai’s SDP Gambit: A Political ‘Harakiri’ | By Adeniyi Olowofela

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Former Governor of Kaduna State, Nasir Ahmad El-Rufai, is a restless and courageous politician. However, he ought to have learned political patience from President Bola Ahmed Tinubu, who spent years building a viable political alternative to the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) when its stalwarts boasted that they would rule Nigeria for 64 years.

Cleverly, Tinubu abandoned the Alliance for Democracy (AD) to establish another political platform, the Action Congress (AC), which later metamorphosed into the Action Congress of Nigeria (ACN).

In collaboration with other political groups—including the Congress for Progressive Change (CPC) and some elements of the PDP—the All Progressives Congress (APC) was born, with El-Rufai as one of its foundation members. Ultimately, the APC wrestled power from the PDP, truncating its 64-year dominance plan.

For El-Rufai to abandon the APC now is nothing short of political suicide, as Tinubu is strategically positioned to secure a second term with an array of both seen and unseen political foot soldiers.

The Social Democratic Party (SDP), as a political entity, effectively died with the late Moshood Kashimawo Olawale (MKO) Abiola. Any attempt to resurrect it is an exercise in futility.

For the sake of argument, let’s consider a hypothetical scenario: Suppose another southern politician is fielded in 2027 and wins the election. Even if he signs an agreement to serve only one term, political realities could shift, and he may seek another four years.

If anyone doubts this, they should ask former Presidents Olusegun Obasanjo and Goodluck Jonathan. The simple implication of this is that President Tinubu remains the best candidate for northern politicians seeking a power shift back to the North in 2031—at which point El-Rufai could have been one of the credible northern contenders for the presidency.

When Ebenezer Babatope (Ebino Topsy), a staunch Awoist, chose to serve in General Sani Abacha’s regime, he later reflected on his decision, saying: “I have eaten the forbidden fruit, and it will haunt me till the end of my life.”

By abandoning the APC for another political party, El-Rufai has also eaten the forbidden fruit. Only time will tell if it will haunt him or not.

However, for some of the political leaders already contacted from the South West, supporting any party against President Tinubu would be akin to Judas Iscariot’s betrayal—a reputation no serious South West politician would want to bear.

El-Rufai’s departure from the APC to SDP is nothing short of a suicidal political move, reminiscent of Harakiri.

Prof. Adeniyi Olowofela, a former Oyo State Commissioner for Education, Science, and Technology and the Commissioner representing Oyo State at the Federal Character Commission (FCC), sent this piece from Abuja, the nation’s capital.

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Akpabio vs. Natasha: Too Many Wrongs Don’t Make A Right

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For most of last week, Senate President Godswill Akpabio was in the eye of the storm as his traducer, Senator Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan, who represents Kogi Central, was relentless in getting her voice hear loud and clear.

Though the matter eventually culminated in the suspension of the Kogi senator for six months on Thursday, it is clear that the drama has not ended yet. The whole saga, as we have seen in the last few weeks, smacks many wrongs and few rights. The Senate scored some rights and some wrongs, the same for the Kogi senator. But in apportioning the rights and the wrongs, we have to distinguish between emotions and the rules.

Recall that in July of 2024, Senator Akpabio had compared the conduct of Senator Akpoti-Uduaghan to that of someone in a nightclub. That statement incensed the Kogi Central senator, the womenfolk, and a number of other senators. Days later, Akpabio, having sensed the mood of the Senate, spoke from his chair and said: “I will not intentionally denigrate any woman and always pray the God will uplift women, Distinguished Senator Natasha, I want to apologise to you.” That was expected of him and by that statement, Akpabio brought some calm into the relationship between him and the Kogi senator, but as we are to discover in the last two weeks, still waters do run fast under the surface.

The latest scene of the drama started with what looked like an innocuous development on the Senate floor. The Senate president, in exercise of the power conferred on him by the 1999 Constitution (as amended) and the Senate Rule book, made adjustments to the seats in the minority wing of the chamber and relocated Senator Akpoti-Uduaghan. The excuse was that following the defection of some senators from the minority side, seat adjustments had to be effected. That was within Akpabio’s power. Remember that the Senate Rule book does not only empower the Senate president to allocate seats, but he can also change the seats occasionally. So, Akpabio was right with that action. But perhaps Akpoti-Uduaghan, based on family relationships with the Akpabios, expected that she would have been alerted of the impending seat change. And on getting to the floor of the Senate to discover the seat switch, she got alarmed. Was she right to flare up? No, that is the answer. Apart from the powers of the Senate president to change seats allocated to senators, the rule book also says that every senator must speak from the seat allocated. The implication is that anything a senator says outside the allocated seat will not go into the Senate records. The Senate, or any parliament for that matter, is a regulated environment. The Hansards take records of every word and action made on the floor of the chamber. And so, it is incumbent on every senator to follow the rules.

So, on Thursday, February 20, when Senator Akpoti-Uduaghan raised hell over her seat relocation and engaged Senator Akpabio in a shouting match, she was on the wrong side of the Senate Rule book. No Senator is expected to be unruly. In fact, unruly conduct can be summarily punished by the presiding officer. It is important to note that the rules of the Senate treat the occupier of the chair of Senate President like a golden egg. The President of the Senate is the number three citizen in the country, even though he was elected to represent a constituency like his colleagues. He is first among equals, but the numero uno position comes with a lot of difference.

A legislative expert once told me that the Chair of the President of the Senate must be revered at all times and that infractions to the rules are heavily punished unless the offender shows penitence. The rule says the President of the Senate must be heard in silence; Senators must avoid naming (being called out for unruly conduct); and that any situation that compels the President of the Senate to rise up to hit the gavel in trying to restore order could earn the culprit (any named senator) summary dismissal. Those are the powers of the President of the Senate, which Madam Natasha was trying for size. I think it is important that Senators are taken through inductions on the rules and regulations, whether they got in mid-term or at the beginning of the session.

Rules are very key to operations in a big club like the Senate or the House of Representatives. But as we will later discover on this page, the number of years spent on the floor does not necessarily guarantee a clear understanding of the rules.

Well, as we saw it, Senator Akpoti-Uduaghan raised hell by protesting the decision of the Senate to relocate her seat. She was out of order, and her colleagues noted the same. With another presiding officer, she could have been suspended right there. But Akpabio didn’t do that. Then, the Kogi Central senator opened another flank, this time, outside of the Senate chamber. She granted an interview to Arise television, claiming that she had been sexually harassed by Akpabio. Here, too, Senator Natasha was on the wrong side of the Senate rules. Yes, she has a right of freedom of speech, but if the right must be meaningfully exercised, she must do so in compliance with the rules of the club she belongs-the Senate. This is expressly so because she is covered by Order 10 of the Senate Rule Book, which permits her to raise issues of privilege without previously notifying the President of the Senate or the presiding officer. The elders and the holy books also say that when you remove the log from the eyes, you show it to the eyes. As a club, the senate detests the washing of its dirty linen in the public. Such conduct led to the suspension of the late Senators Arthur Nzeribe and Joseph Waku, as well as Senator Ovie Omo-Agege, Senator Ali Ndume and even Senator Abdul Ningi in recent past.

Rather than go to the court of public opinion to accuse Akpabio of sexual harassment, Senator Akpoti-Uduaghan should have quietly assumed the seat allocated to her, raise her complaints through Order 10 and at the same time tender details of her sexual harassment allegation against Akpabio and seek Senate’s intervention. If she had done that, she would have been on the right side of Senate Rules and had Akpabio by the balls. As much as the Senate rules forbid a senator from submitting a petition he or she personally signed, the Senate does not forbid any lawmaker from raising allegations that affect either their rights or privileges on the floor. Several newspaper editors have been summoned before the Ethics Committee to answer questions of alleged breach of the privilege of senators. I recall that as correspondents in the chamber, senators were always unhappy each time we scooped a story or blow open a report they were about to submit. Such senators didn’t need to write a petition. They would only come to the floor and raise points of order on privilege. Senator Akpoti- Uduaghan failed to do that.

But the conduct of the Senate President and some of the principal officers on Wednesday, March 5, left so much to be desired of the Senate. I was shocked to see Senator Akpabio rule Senator Natasha in order; he also ruled Senator Mohammed Monguno in order as well as Senator Opeyemi Bamidele. How do you have three right rulings on one issue? First, he allowed Senator Natasha to lay a defective petition on the Senate table. That’s expressly out of order. In the days of Senate Presidents David Mark, Bukola Saraki, and Ahmad Lawan, we saw how such scenes were handled. A David Mark would simply ask the senator, ‘Distinguished Senator, please open to Order 40(4) and read’. By the time the senator finished reading the order and seeing the order had negatived his or her motion, he would only be begging to withdraw that motion. That was not the case with Akpabio. And to make matters worse, the clerks at the table were also looking lost. They could not guide the presiding officer in any way. That tells a bit about human resource capacity in the assembly. But then the Senate Leader, Opeyemi Bamidele and the Chief Whip, Mohammed Monguno, who have spent quite a long time in the National Assembly, should know better. Their interventions did more damage to Akpabio’s Senate. Once the President of the Senate had ruled Senator Natasha in order to submit a petition she personally signed, (against the rules of the Senate which forbids such), and the Kogi Central senator had approached the chair and laid the petition on the table, the matter in a way becomes sub judice, to borrow the language of the law. The Senate Rule Book classifies such an action as “Matters Not open to Debate.” So at that point, the matter was no longer open to debate. Since the gavel has been hit and the action has been taken, no senator has the right to reopen the case. It was wrong of Senator Bamidele and Monguno to immediately start to revisit a closed matter, and that’s illegal. It is wrong for Akpabio to allow it.

I recall an incident in the 6th Senate when President Umaru Yar’Adua was bedridden in Saudi Arabia. Some senators moved a motion, seeking the Senate to constitute a panel to visit Saudi and ascertain the health status of the president. Somehow, when the motion was finally passed on a day, Senator Ike Ekweremadu presided, it turned out that the motion only mandated the Federal Executive Council to do the assignment. The original proponents of the motion were enraged, but they were not allowed to reopen the matter. They had to go into lobbying and eventually secured signatures of two-thirds of the Senate to re-table the matter and that paved the way for the adoption of the famous “Doctrine of Necessity.” That’s how serious the matter should be handled, but it was trivialized by Akpabio, the Senate Leader and Senate Whip. That’s on the wrong side of the rule.

Now that Senator Akpoti-Uduaghan has been suspended, many would say she was being silenced. That is far from the truth. Her suspension was on the basis of what the senate perceived as unruly behavior on the floor. We are yet to hear the details of her sexual harassment allegations, and I believe that she has avenues to ventilate that. Nigerians earnestly await these details, which should be salacious enough to help us cool off some heat.

 

 

 

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Now that Natasha has made Akpabio happy

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In South Africa under the presidency of Jacob Zuma, any analysis of government and governance without factoring sex into the mix was tame and lame. Zuma was a notorious polygamist who had six official wives as president, many more by unofficial account and 22 children from the liaisons.

He was a kingpin of lechery. On May 8, 2006, a South African court under Judge van der Merwe acquitted him of rape of Fezekile Ntsukela Kuzwayo, an HIV-positive AIDS activist, who was the daughter of his friend, Judson Kuzwayo. During trial, Zuma pleaded that the sex was consensual but admitted that he had unprotected sex with the lady. He then stunned the world with his bizarre claim that he had “showered afterwards to cut the risk of contracting the infection.”

 

In the process of studying power relations in Nigeria, sex as a phenomenon is often understudied or underrated. In other words, while power relations are known to be shaped by a complex interplay of factors that range from the economic, political, social, to the cultural, including individual characteristics and relationship dynamics, hardly are gender and sex reckoned with.

 

In my piece of March 6, 2022 with the title, Buhari’s Serial Rape Of Nigeria’s Lady Justice, I doubled down on a sub-theme of the powerful role sex plays in national politics. To do justice to this, I recalled a September 7, 2008 cartoon sketched by Jonathan Shapiro, award-winning cartoonist with the Johannesburg-based Sunday Times whose cartoon identity was Zapiro. I illustrated the piece with a submission that though political cartooning may look harmless, it can be nerve-racking, provoking the bile of political office holders and triggering a huge political umbrage in the process. This cartoon triggered a huge ball of fire in South Africa. Named ‘Rape of Lady Justice’, in it, Zuma, who was then leader of the African National Congress (ANC), and later to become president, was seen loosening his trousers’ zippers for a sexual romp. On his head was a shower cap. Before him, flung on the bare floor, was a blindfolded lady with a lapel inscribed, “Justice System” hung on her chest.

 

Four hefty and menacing-looking men knelt by the Lady Justice’s side, holding down the “wench”, whose skirt was half peeled off. They were political surrogates of Zuma in the ANC, which included Julius Malema, then leader of the ANC Youth League. The scale of justice had fallen down beside the Lady Justice, with one of the men smilingly beckoning on Zuma to clamber her, muttering, “Go for it, boss!”

 

That cartoon shot Zuma into a fit. Indeed, he immediately sued Zapiro for the sum of £700,000. Massive reactions followed it, ranging from the condemnatory to the laudatory. The ANC, SACP and ANC Youth League pilloried it as “hate speech,” “disgusting” and “bordering on defamation of character” and then petitioned the South African Human Rights Commission for redress.

 

I went into all these dogo turenchi, just as I did in another piece I wrote on February 6, 2022, to ask that we must not underrate the power of sex in high places. In that February piece, I borrowed a line from Irish poet and playwright, Oscar Wilde, who said, “everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power”. With it, I submitted that the Wilde theory should tell us that there is an intersection between gender, sexual power and political power. This was further escalated by renowned scholar, Prof Wale Adebanwi, in one of his journal articles, where he submitted that “the African man of power must display or exhibit his virility – particularly sexual virility.” In the same vein, Zimbabwean journalist and blogger, Fungai Machirori, urged us to study the sexual histories of our men in power because, from the rhythm of their silently dangling penises, we may find a compass to their politics.

 

Last Thursday, the ghost of the spat between Senate President, Godswill Akpabio and senator representing Kogi West, Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan, will seem to have rested. In the relations of power in the senate, on that day, Akpabio, it will seem, had succeeded in showing Akpoti-Uduaghan that, as bland-looking as the old Nigerian pence looked, it was not a currency to be trifled with by the Kobo coin (Bí tọrọ ṣe yọ to, kíì s’ẹgbẹ Kọbọ). Not only was she suspended for six months for violating senate rules and bringing the senate “to public opprobrium”, her salary and security details were withdrawn while her office would be locked during the pendency of the suspension.

 

If you watched the senate proceedings leading to Akpoti-Uduaghan’s suspension, you would be sorry for Nigeria. Then, African-American Sterling Brown would come to your mind, just as you visualize Jonathan Shapiro’s cartoon in Akpabio figuratively loosening his trousers’ zippers for a forceful sexual romp with the Lady Justice. With same lens, you would see Majority Leader, Opeyemi Bamidele, Adenigba Fadahunsi and other fawning senators holding down the “wench”, smilingly beckoning Akpabio to “Go for it, boss!”

 

Like Africans, African-Americans grew to know the wisdom which teaches that injustice is a furnace that burns and destroys. The life of Sterling Brown, professor at America’s Howard University, folklorist, poet and literary critic, was chiefly dedicated to studying black culture. In one of his poems entitled “Old Lem,” Brown wrote about mob violence and injustice which black people suffered in the hands of the American criminal justice system. American writer and civil rights activist, James Baldwin’s ‘The Fire Next Time’ also speaks to this theme. In the America of the time, black parents, aware of the danger of their blackness and the violence and death they could suffer, deployed folklore to cushion them, even as they told stories that depicted their skewed realities.

 

There was this famous folklore told to African-American children while growing up. Entitled “Old Sis Goose,” it goes thus, as I reproduce it verbatim: One day, “while swimming across a pond, Sis Goose got caught by Brer Fox. Sis gets pissed off because she believes that she has a perfect right to swim in the pond. She decides to sue Brer Fox. But when the case gets to court, Sis Goose looks around and sees that besides the Sheriff who is a fox, the judge is a fox, the prosecuting and defence attorneys are ones too and even the jury is comprised entirely of foxes. Sis Goose doesn’t like her chances. Sure enough at the end of the trial, Sis Goose is convicted and summarily executed. Soon, the jury, judge, Sheriff and the attorneys are picking on her bones.”

 

The morals of this old anecdote are two. One, as encapsulated in one of the lines of Apala musician, Ayinla Omowura’s track, is that, if you do not have a representative in a council where your matter will be decided, even if you are right, you would be adjudged guilty. The second moral is that, if the courthouse is filled with foxes and you are an ordinary, lonely goose, there will be no justice for you.

 

In the senate last week, Akpoti-Uduaghan was Sis Goose who looked around and saw that, beside the judge, Akpabio who is a fox, the prosecuting and defence attorneys were all foxes, too. Even the jury is comprised entirely of foxes. Though they appeared as unbiased umpire senators, they were flesh-starved foxes baying for blood of the hapless little Goose. And Sis Goose was summarily executed.

 

First, we must realize that, just like other Nigerian institutions, the power, glory, graft and corruption at the beck and call of Akpabio’s senate presidency is breathtakingly awesome and humongous. Don’t mind his suffocation of these agencies in his most times nauseating jokes, Akpabio has the power to literally turn anyone’s night into day. If you enter his senate as a pauper and find favour in his ego, you could upstage Mansa Musa, ninth Mansa of the Mali empire’s wealth. Owing to this largesse in his hands, as ants gravitate towards the pee of a diabetic, the senate president has the pleasure of a humongous number of solicited and unsolicited fawners and senatorial Oraisa (praise-singers) and hangers-on latching to his apron strings. It is a tactic to have a bite of the corruptive mountain of pies in the hands of the titular. This need to grovel by the feet of power was affirmed by Senator Opeyemi Bamidele. Akpoti-Uduaghan had alleged that, in a midnight call he made to her, he had threatened that, if Akpabio went down, she, too (ostensibly meaning a huge mound of free wealth) would similarly go into the incinerator.

 

As I recalled last week, immediately Akpoti-Uduaghan leveled allegations of sexual harassment against Akpabio on Arise TV, a build-up began to salvage Akpabio, the King Fox and prevent the largesse empire from falling. First came Onyekachi Nwaebonyi, senator representing Ebonyi North. Nwaebonyi’s fawning is nauseating. On a television show, he acknowledged Akpabio, a first among equals senator, as “our father” and had to be rebuked like an erring kindergarten pupil by the anchor of the programme. Nwaebonyi later came back to attack Akpoti-Uduaghan in the unkindest manner as a serial philanderer. Thereafter came Ireti Kingibe and Neda Imasuen. While Kingibe, who claimed to have driven herself to the television station, struggled frenetically to make her female senator colleague the victimizer, she deodorized King Fox as her victim. Imasuen, chairman senate committee on ethics, even before his committee sat on the alleged infraction of Akpoti-Uduaghan, told the world on another television interview that Akpabio shared same beatification qualities with Angel Gabriel. The question then is, if Nwaebonyi, Kingibe, Yemi Adaramodu and Imasuen could externalize an issue on television and not the parliament, what criminalizes, in the so-called senate rules, Akpoti-Uduaghan doing same?

 

At the televised senate hearing, King Fox, in defiance of the rules of equity and justice, was judge, jury and accused who sat in judgment over his own case. Second, it was obvious that the foxes had gathered for Akpoti-Uduaghan’s legislative obsequies. It was also apparent that the executioners had been carefully selected for the job. One by one, the senators assembled arsenal with which to shed the Kogi senator’s blood. Chief Whip Mohammed Monguno clinically prepared the guillotine. Spears, axes, knives and swords were readied. Monguno stood up and went into oblique narration of how Standing Order 55(1) had been violated. Now, like an objectionable character, a meddlesome interloper who Yoruba call Karambani, Kogi West Senator, Sunday Karimi, acting like all fawners at the feet of power, admitted he put Akpabio in “this problem” because he pleaded with King Fox to allot chairmanship position to Akpoti-Uduaghan.

 

Then, Ade Fadahunsi, ex-Customs officer, representing Osun East, began his own gibber on the floor of the senate. While accepting that the senate was a consequential parliament and that its integrity(?) had gone down, Fadahunsi saw the allegation of sexual harassment against King Fox as “mere trivial matter” and admitted he didn’t “want to know what is the undercurrent.” In his parliamentary arrogance, Fadahunsi even saw it as “an insult” for “a radio we licensed” to invite a man alleged to have gone on a rampaging libido to come and explain what he saw inside the pot of soup that made him tilt his hands suggestively (t’ó rí l’obe t’ó fí gaaru ọwọ). Fadahunsi then lifted the bible to reify his doggerel, fawning over King Fox in the process.

 

Still during the executioners’ hearing aimed at taking Akpoti-Uduaghan through the gallows, Mohammed Dandutse, representing Katsina South senatorial district, stood up, his babanriga fluffing helplessly like the lame hand of an invalid. He waffled so pitiably that you would wonder what he was talking about. After him, Cyril Fasuyi, in his usual kowtow, did not fail to fawn. Even Senator Ita Giwa, on television, propounded a bizarre theory which argued that, once a woman had risen to become a senator, she was immune to sexual harassment. This pitiably suggested that a woman senator must have had enough of men to be moved by the typhoon of their harassment. Nigerians’ mouths were agape.

 

So many issues crop up from the Akpoti-Uduaghan travails. The first can be seen from Opeyemi Bamidele’s argument in favour of her suspension. During this executioners’ session, he argued that the Kogi senator must have been so execrable in behaviour that, all political parties, all genders and all age demographics were in alignment with King Fox against her. Opeyemi did not tell Nigerians that the executioner senators were only defending their esophaguses in the hands of King Fox.

 

As argued by many, the National Assembly is our modern day equivalent of the “I” as “We” thesis, the secrecy and single-purpose pursuit cult of the Yoruba Ogboni fraternity. Espoused by Peter Morton-Williams in his journal article entitled, “The Yoruba Ogboni Cult” (Africa: Journal of the International African Institute, Vol. 30, No. 4 (Oct., 1960, pp. 362-374) Morton-Williams didn’t follow Leo Frobenius’ earlier 1910 examination of the Ogboni cult in Ibadan, in the process of which he referred to its members as “mystery-mongering greybeards’.

 

Morton-Williams classified the Ogboni Cult into two grades membership – the Wé-Wé -Wé – ‘children’ of the cult, its junior grade Ologboni or Alawo (Owners of the Mystery or the Secret), and the the Olori Oluwo, ritual head of the Ogboni. The Nigerian senate is similarly classified, with the Senate President replicating the Oluwo. The senate chambers, which is akin to the Ilédì (lodge) of the Ogboni, is where secrets are lidded. In Ogboni cult, kolanuts are split and eaten as an act of reminder that the Ogboni members are bonded in secrecy. This act makes it very hard for any of the Ogboni to factionalize the fraternity and breaking the pod of secrecy that binds the cult. Any member who violates this code courts ritual sanction. As the Ẹdan Ogboni, a pair of brass/bronze figure that represents male/female, linked by a chain, is a symbol of membership and abidance by the rules, so is the Senate Order book. So, when Remi Tinubu, a woman who had also once been a victim of verbal sexual flagellation, also came out to reinforce the power of the secrecy of the Senate over an alleged debasement of womanhood, it only confirmed the fraternal solidarity of this modern senate cult.

 

The Akpoti-Uduaghan travails have so many symbolisms. One is gender, in which case, the Kogi senator is suffering the audacity of her femininity. In this patriarchal society, it is a crime for a woman to be beautiful, brainy and, on top of it, attempt to disrupt the status-quo. The penal sanction meted out to such disruptors is ostracism or death, as is in the Ogboni cult. Second is that, as the pigeon (eyele), the bird that eats and drinks with the house owner in time of plenty, the senate fraternity considers it sacrilegious for Akpoti-Uduaghan to repudiate the fraternity oath. The Ilédì, Senate chambers, a la Senator Ita Giwa, is home for the lascivious, the sleazy and the heart-wrenching. As the harvest for the seed of membership of Ogboni is prestige, wealth and societal honour, for the Nigerian senator, it is humongous cash. If Akpoti-Uduaghan is aquaphobic, not ready to face the ostracism that logically comes from fighting a fraternity’s status-quo of which she had been a member, she had no reason to jump inside the river.

 

For the man of power, sex is a conquest game, won either by shedding drops of a virile libido or the victory of ego over a woman traducer. It was what Adebanwi meant by his “the African man of power must display or exhibit his virility – particularly sexual virility.” As it stands now, Fox Akpabio has succeeded, according to Akpoti-Uduaghan’s unsubstantiated allegation, in being “made happy” through his summary execution of the Goose. For how long? Only time will tell.

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