ARSENAL hero Per Mertesacker has revealed he once considered retiring after his close friend Robert Enke committed suicide.
The German goalkeeper – a former team-mate of Mertesacker at Hannover – ended his own life aged 32 in 2009 following a six-year battle with depression.
Gunners club captain Mertesacker hinted he felt bad that he didn’t realise the scale of Enke’s problem and said it nearly caused him to quit football.
Mertesacker tearfully revealed: “Even I didn’t know how badly he was doing. That says something, doesn’t it?
“I was really close to throwing [football] all away. Especially because one week later, everything was like it was before.
“[But] my career is unique, I had so much luck in my life, I couldn’t give that up so easily.
“It’s hard to explain, but it’s like a vortex that you can’t get out of.”
Meanwhile, Mertesacker also revealed he suffers incredible nausea before EVERYmatch.
The German told Spiegel: “My stomach starts churning and I feel like I’m going to throw up. Then I have to choke so hard that I tear up.”
“This is the first time I’ve spoken about the nausea issue.”
Mertesacker also suffers from terrible diarrhoea on game-days – as he bans himself from eating within four hours before a game to avoid an incident.
He added: “I have to go to the bathroom right after getting up, right after breakfast, again after lunch and again at the stadium.
“[It’s] as if everything that then happened, symbolically speaking, just made me want to puke.”
The German star claimed he never even told his family or friends about his issue.
Mertesacker said: “I didn’t want to be dramatic about itIt had no effect on my performance.”
“At the same time, even as a child, I tended to keep things to myself.”
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