Deadline: 15 Nov 2022 (annual)
Study in: USA
Next course starts 1 July 2023

Brief description:

AAUW (the American Association of University Women) awards International Fellowships for full-time study or research in the United States to women who are not United States citizens or permanent residents. Both graduate and postgraduate studies at accredited institutions are supported.

Host Institution(s):

Accredited U.S. institutions

Level/Field(s) of study:

Graduate and postgraduate studies at accredited U.S. institutions.

Number of Awards:

Not specified

Target group:

Women who are not United States citizens or permanent residents. Preference is given to women who show prior commitment to the advancement of women and girls through civic, community, or professional work.

Scholarship value/inclusions:

Master’s/Professional Fellowship: $20,000
Doctorate Fellowship: $25,000
Postdoctoral Fellowship: $50,000

Eligibility:

To be eligible for an International Fellowship, applicants must meet the following criteria:

• Have citizenship in a country other than the U.S. or possession of a nonimmigrant visa if residing in the U.S. Women who are currently, or expect to be during the fellowship year, a U.S. citizen, U.S. permanent resident, or dual citizen with the U.S. and another country are not eligible.
• Hold an academic degree (earned in the U.S. or abroad) equivalent to a U.S. bachelor’s degree completed by 15 November 2022.
• Intend to devote herself full-time to the proposed academic plan during the fellowship year
• Intend to return to her home country to pursue a professional career upon completion of their studies
• Be proficient in English and confirm proficiency by submitting a valid TOEFL or IELTS score (TOEFL iBT (Internet-Based Test): 79; TOEFL Essentials: 8.5; Revised TOEFL Paper-Delivered Test: 60; IELTS: 6.5)
• Master’s/first professional degree and doctoral applicants must have applied by 15 November 2022, to an accredited institution of study for the period of the fellowship year and must indicate the name of the institution in the International Fellowship application. While acceptance is not required at the time of application, fellows must provide official confirmation from the institution with their award acceptance materials.
• Postdoctoral applicants must provide proof of their doctorate degree; hold a doctorate classified as a research degree (e.g., Ph.D., Ed.D., D.B.A., D.M.) or an M.F.A. by 15 November 2022; and indicate where they will conduct their research.
• Master’s/first professional degree and doctoral applicants must be enrolled in a U.S. accredited institution located in the U.S. during the fellowship year.

See the full eligibility criteria at the official website (link found below) for more details.

Application instructions:

Applications and submission of supporting documents are done online. The application deadline for AY 2022-2023 is 15 November 2022, 11:59 p.m. Pacific Standard Time.

It is important to visit the official website (link found below) to access the online application and for detailed updated information on this scholarship/fellowship.

Website:

Official Scholarship Website: https://www.aauw.org/resources/programs/fellowships-grants/current-opportunities/international/

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I Lost My Navel, Everything That Makes Me A Woman – Survivor

If endometriosis were a health condition to be trivialised, Miss Patricia Raymond, a survivor, would have been hale and hearty, and have children to call her own.

The 43-year-old woman had been living with endometriosis pain since her first menstruation at the age of 14, though people around her didn’t know what she was going through. Initially she didn’t know what was happening to her and her parents couldn’t do much to help her situation.

She managed to finish her secondary education in pain, missing out, sometimes, in some very crucial school activities due to the excruciating pains of endometriosis. Raymond had to be out of school for some days every month because of her condition. While other female students were in school for four weeks in a month to carry out their academic activities, Raymond would be available in three weeks. She was in this condition until she finished her secondary school and proceeded for her tertiary education.

When Raymond’s family members and friends became aware of her health condition, they were very worried, especially as nobody was able to proffer solution. Wrong reasons were adduced to her state of health.

This disrupted her intimacy with men that came her way, and she has not been married till today in her early 40s.

“I lost everything that made me a woman. I have lived with this pain since my first period at 14 years. The only thing left for me is my faith in God. Nobody understood what I was going through. I wailed, gnashed my teeth, and bled profusely, yet nobody could tell me what my problem was.

“I saw hell and couldn’t stand on my feet. I screamed, when the pain would allow me. In most cases, I couldn’t cry because there was no strength with which to cry. The more I cried, the more pain I felt. It was so painful. It would continue in this manner for the next seven days but the flow was just two to three days.

“I suffered and started living on pain relievers and sleep-inducing pills. I take sleeping pills so that I could, at least, have some rest, but no amount of the pills could stop the pain when it comes. It was the pain that would wake you up in the middle of sleep despite the pills. The pain was so maddening when the pills wear off,” she explained.

Everybody around Raymond, including the doctors, was clueless about what was wrong with her.

“After my secondary school education, I proceeded to tertiary education. I refused to give up. I was able to write my last paper in the university and was taken to the hospital. I graduated, started working and treating myself.

“I had to visit all the gynaecologists I came in contact with, seeking solutions to my condition. When I was taken to the hospital, I did a number of tests and scans but there was nothing found. One of the tests was done in a painful procedure.

“While I was waiting for my turn at the waiting room, I could hear other women going through the same procedure screaming and wailing as if they were being injured. After the tests, nothing was seen because water had taken over my belly at this point, and I was bloated. I went for water draining. After that, I began to shrink. I wondered why professional gynaecologists could not know what I was going through for this long.”

Eventually, in 2003, she had her first surgery. She bled for days and thereafter, started looking for financial assistance to augment her salary to go for treatment. She had lived with the problem for decades. From weighing 69, Raymond went down to 41. At a point, she could neither eat nor drink because she was bloated.

“I was like a skeleton. I went to the military hospital and started with a Human Immuno Virus (HIV) test and others. I went for a city scan, which cost me N45, 000 but they didn’t see anything because water had taken over my body. I had another surgery, which took away my navel. As I speak, I don’t have a navel because of endometriosis.

“I have decided to tell my story to help others living with this condition and to create awareness on the need for on-job education for medical practitioners, who were also ignorant of the condition,” she added.

Raymond’s experience is not different from what over 176 million women across the world go through, and this is the reason endometriosis has become a topical issue in recent time to create awareness on the health condition and contribute to the fight against it.

The Guardian learnt that painful mensuration could be a symptom. According to experts, normal menstrual cycle of a lady shouldn’t stop her from performing her normal tasks, but it should be a cause for worry when it does.

It has been reported that between 30 per cent and 40 per cent of Nigerian women who live in Nigeria suffer from endometriosis. There is also a recent study that claims that approximately 11 per cent of women and girls in Nigeria unknowingly live with the disorder, though they show no symptoms, and diagnosis only occur years later.

By way of definition, endometriosis is the abnormal growth of cells (endometrial cells) similar to those that form the inside of the uterus, but in a location outside of the uterus. It’s a disorder of the tissue lining the uterus that causes it to grow outside the uterine cavity.

It attaches itself to other organs and swells with blood during menstruation. And since the blood can’t escape, these tissues cysts, and scar tissue or adhesions takes place. This causes pain and prevents the fallopian tube from functioning properly. It affects pregnancy directly.

Recently, a group of professionals from across the world gathered at the Civic Centre in Lagos to educate women and doctors on this condition. The survivors were also there to share their experiences with a view to educating others and giving the survivors hope that they weren’t alone in the struggle. The event brought relief to the survivors after hearing the testimonies of others.

“I have never met anybody with this condition, if I had, maybe my case wouldn’t have been this complicated. Earlier, I thought I was alone in this condition but today, I feel better. I would appeal that this form of programme should be regularly organised to give us hope and to create awareness for the younger ones. If it will cost me coming here every time to narrate my ordeals to create awareness, I will do it to ensure people don’t go through what I am going through,” Raymond said.

The experts who were present in person at the event and others who joined via zoom viewed endometriosis as ‘an unrecognised burden in Africa’ that shortens and retards the quality of life of women on the continent.

According to them, one of the reasons the condition is widespread is the ignorance about its existence, especially among women and even some medical practitioners. They said majority of the cases were being detected late when a woman is married and ready for childbearing. This, they said, made many women like Raymond to go experience untold hardship, pain and neglect.

To check the spread of the disease, two advocacy groups, Endometriosis Support Group Nigeria (ESGN) and African Endometriosis Awareness and Support Group (AESG) have been established in Lagos.

Recounting her experience, Botswana-based Gaona Dintwe, who was at the event, said her own condition started with her first menstrual cycle at the age of 14. She suffered misdiagnosis as she was said to have contracted sexually transmitted diseases.

The next time she visited the treatment centre, she was accused of having an abortion because she was bleeding heavily, not knowing she was having endometriosis pain. Dintwe was basically living on drugs until she decided that she shouldn’t be an addict to pain relievers.

“As I am sitting down now, I am in pain but I have to bear it. I have learnt how to ignore the pain not to become an addict. By then, I wasn’t sexually active yet and that was where the misdiagnosis came from. The doctor told me I had an STI even when I did not have sex.

“At that point, I have not tried to make babies but my friend advised me to go for a test. The test proved that one of my fallopian tubes was blocked, but after the surgery the doctor said the chances of having pregnancy was high and that was how I conceived.

“There is no cure for it, you just have to manage the situation, but early diagnosis would help you to manage it effectively,” Dintwe said.

A consultant gynaecologist and obstetrician and the Managing Director, Nordica Fertility Centre, Dr. Abayomi Ajayi, said the aim of the groups, that are being supported by other groups across Africa – Botswana, Lesotho, Zimbabwe, Kenya, South Africa, Ghana and Nigeria– is to raise awareness about the health condition among the people living with it.

He listed the major concerns about the condition as inaccurate diagnosis, dearth of trained medical personnel to handle it and obsolete equipment used in medical facilities across the continent.

“For women living with this condition, life seemed very unfair. The pain, the tough choice they have to make in determining if they would have children or not, their sexual life, relationship challenges and general wellbeing should be of grave concern to all of us.

“Up to 50 per cent of women who have this condition may experience infertility. Endometriosis cells secrete substances that affect the sperms and eggs. This causes progesterone deficiency in women and thus preventing normal implantation.

“These implants are most commonly found on the ovaries, the fallopian tubes, outer surfaces of the uterus or intestines, and on the surface lining of the pelvic cavity. They can also be found in the vagina, cervix, and bladder, although less commonly than other locations in the pelvis.

“Rarely, endometriosis implants can occur outside the pelvis, on the liver, in old surgery scars, and even in or around the lung or brain. While they can cause problems, they are not cancerous. Endometriosis affects an estimated 1 in 10 women during their reproductive years, usually between the ages of 15 and 49, which is approximately176 million women in the world,” the doctor explained.

The Guardian learnt that endometriosis could start from as early as a girl’s first period and menopause may not resolve the symptoms, especially if the woman has scar tissue or adhesions from the disease and/or surgery. However, the exact cause of endometriosis has not been identified but it is more common in women who are experiencing infertility than in fertile women. The condition does not fully prevent conception. Endometriosis is the 2nd most common gynaecological condition in Nigeria.

Ajayi also noted that severe endometriosis is often associated with infertility due to the chronic inflammation which occurs as a result of the abnormally positioned endometrial tissue. All endometrial tissues, whether located in the womb or not, respond to the normal hormones that regulate the woman’s menstrual cycles.

On the symptoms of endometriosis, Ajayi mentioned pelvic pain during menstruation or ovulation. He said the symptoms might also occur in normal women. “Cramps, fatigue and painful sex are the major symptoms of this condition.”

Endometriosis, he said, can be suspected based on the woman’s pattern of symptoms and sometimes during a physical examination, “but the definite diagnosis is confirmed by surgery, usually laparoscopy.”

According to him, treatment of endometriosis includes medication and surgery for both pain relief and treatment of infertility, if pregnancy is desired.

It was learnt that though endometriosis is associated with inflammation and immunological dysfunctions, it has not been proven itself to be an autoimmune disease.

An autoimmune disease happens when the body’s natural defence system can’t tell the difference between your own cells and foreign cells, causing the body to mistakenly attack normal cells.

Diagnosis
On the diagnosis and management of endometriosis, Dr. Ajayi said a good clinical history and a thorough clinical examination with high index of suspicion help to point in the direction of the correct diagnosis.

“To confirm the diagnosis, it is advised that the patient undergo vagina ultrasound assessment and laparoscopy. A minimal access surgery that employs keyhole camera procedure is considered the ‘gold standard’ tool.

“Laparoscopy also allows for classification of the extent of disease and histological diagnosis. Endometriosis can be managed either with the help of drugs or with surgery. The drugs used for the management are geared towards pain control and reducing the impact of the oestrogen hormone.

“In those with mild to moderate disease, conception can occur spontaneously. Failure to conceive following six to 12 months of trying may necessitate help in the form of assisted conception treatments, mainly invitro-fertilisation.

“Fertility treatment protocols must be tailored to the individual’s need to achieve the desired outcome. The experience revealed that 25 per cent of patients undergoing Assisted Reproductive Technique are affected by endometriosis, and up to 40 per cent of these patients show ovarian endometriosis.

“During endoscopy surgical procedure at Nordica, endometriosis is the third commonest finding (15.7%) at laparoscopy. It is possible for those with endometriosis to live above the pain and achieve their desired goals and aspiration despite the condition.”

Dieting
The Guardian learnt that eating more trans fatty acids food could increase the risk of having endometriosis. Also, drinking two or more cups of coffee per day could increase the risk, though some studies found no correlation between the two.

It was gathered that eating more green vegetables and fruits could decrease the risk of endometriosis. Omega-3 fatty acids seem to reduce the risk, just as fish oil intake seems to reduce painful menstruation in some women. Taking three or more servings of dairy food daily decreases the risk of endometriosis.

On how endometriosis leads to infertility in women, a consultant surgeon and gynaecologist with Epe General Hospital, Dr. (Mrs.) Cynthia Okafor said: “Endometriosis can influence fertility in several ways: distorted anatomy of the pelvis, adhesions, scarred fallopian tubes, inflammation of the pelvic structures, altered immune system functioning, changes in the hormonal environment of the eggs, impaired implantation of a pregnancy, and altered egg quality.

“At the time of surgery, your doctor may evaluate the amount, location, and depth of endometriosis and give you a score. This score determines whether your endometriosis is considered minimal (Stage 1), mild (Stage 2), moderate (Stage 3), or severe (Stage 4).

“This scoring system correlates with pregnancy success. Women with severe (Stage 4) endometriosis, which causes considerable scarring, blocked fallopian tubes, and damaged ovaries, experience the most difficulty becoming pregnant and often require advanced fertility treatment.”

On the treatment, she said: “Endometriosis needs the female hormone estrogen to develop and grow. Birth control pills and other drugs that lower or block estrogen can be effective in improving pain symptoms. For patients who wish to become pregnant, medical therapy may be considered prior to attempts at conception, but this treatment usually does not improve pregnancy rates.

“The combination of surgical and medical therapy may be beneficial in patients attempting to conceive through in vitro fertilisation (IVF). Overall, treatment is highly individualised for each patient.

“Surgical excision of endometrotic cysts or tissue is recommended while adhesion may also be surgically removed, in an attempt to clean up the pelvis. All surgeries can be carried out by operative laparoscopy/laparotomy.

“Hormonal treatment is also available to suppress the chronic irritation and cysts caused by endometriosis. Danazol, progesterones, oral pills and GnRH analogues are some useful drugs. In mild endometriosis, ovulation induction and intra-uterine insemination may be considered. Otherwise IVF treatment is usually indicated.”

In his presentation at the maiden endometriosis conference in Lagos tagged ‘Endometriosis 101’, the Acting Head, Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology, Lagos State University Teaching Hospital/College of Medicine (LASUTH/LASUCOM), Dr. Abidoye Gbadegesin, explained that endometriosis affects girls and women of reproductive age. Gbadegesin was represented at the conference by Dr. Temitope Odetayo, a senior registrar.

The Director of Nursing Services (DNS), Lagos State Ministry of Health, Dr. Dorcas Shonibare, encouraged health practitioners to work with focus groups and organise educational programmes that would not only raise awareness about endometriosis but also equip the people with relevant information they need to deal with the condition.

The health intervention and programmes evaluation expert said “while it is important to seek government’s assistance with such projects, it is a call to duty for everyone to strengthen informal and formal groups that can tackle the issue of endometriosis awareness”, noting that “education, not income is the best predictor of a long life.”

The post Infertility: Agonising pains of women living with endometriosis first appeared on MegaIcon Magazine.

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The female members are Raffaella Petrini, a nun and secretary-general of the governorate of the Vatican City State; Yvonne Reungoat, a nun and former superior-general of the Daughters of Mary Help of Christians; and Maria Lia Zervino, president of the World Union of Catholic Women Organisations.

The members of the dicastery assist in the selection of bishops for dioceses, and they also conduct analyses on position papers regarding opinions on candidates.

This is the first time women would be appointed into the dicastery.

In an interview with Reuters earlier in July, the Pope said he wanted to give women more senior and influential positions in the Holy See.

“This way, things are opening up a bit,” the Pope had said.

The three women were among 14 other people appointed to the dicastery for bishops and the appointment lasts for five years

The other 11 appointed on Wednesday are cardinals, bishops and priests.

Meanwhile, the development comes months after Petrini was appointed as the first female secretary-general of the governorate of Vatican city state.

The secretary-general is the “second-ranking position in the government of the Vatican City State”.

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A few held her hand and encouraged her to push. Majority of the women around took out their wrappers and held them up, creating a protective ring around the woman, shielding her from prying eyes. Every now and then, this scenario plays itself in other markets around the continent, and the response is mostly the same – women bring out their wrappers to protect one of their own.

Sadly, this is no longer the case these days. Instead of wrappers coming out, it would be cell phones to record every graphic detail. Sure, help might still come, but not before the person concerned has all their pain and agony out there for all the world to see.

Recently, there was the case of a young woman in Ajah, Lagos, who was found wandering the streets. Reports on how she got there vary, but she was stark naked, extremely emaciated and incoherent. Instead of immediately rushing to help, covering her up and getting her medical attention, onlookers laughed at her, threw things at her and recorded her on their cell phones.

Without any idea of who she was or how she got there, judgements were made on the spot about her being the victim of ritualists which she must have brought on herself in her quest to make quick money. A good Samaritan, Keira Hewatch, stepped in and took her to the hospital. Even though many onlookers were not prepared to help the poor woman on the road, they tried to stop Keira from helping her, saying she too might be bewitched. Essentially, they refused to bring out their wrappers to protect and save someone and tried to stop someone else who was willing to bring out hers.

What do these wrappers signify? To me they mean protection, solidarity, sisterhood, empathy, kindness, compassion, duty, all those things and more that make us human beings. In the market places where the scene I described in Uganda happens, there is an unspoken protocol amongst the women – a responsibility to take care of one of their own who needs them. She is in pain. Afraid. But she has sisters around her, rooting for her and helping her.

So, I ask us my dear sisters, where is your wrapper? Where is your wrapper to shield and protect other women and girls who need you? Where was your wrapper for the little girl who was molested by someone in your household and you said ‘Shhhhh’ and looked the other way? Where was your wrapper when someone you know said she was raped by someone she trusted? Did you ask her what she was wearing? Or if she seduced him? Where was your wrapper when your friend needed succour from an abusive husband? Did you gossip behind her back that it served her right, she is too arrogant? Where was your wrapper when your sister or daughter told you that her lecturers were harassing her in the University? Did you tell them that they must have done something to encourage them? Where was your wrapper when a young woman who could have been your own sister, daughter or niece was found on the streets naked? Were you one of the women who stood by and recorded her misery and threw things at her? Were you one of the men who tried to stop brave Keira from helping? What was in it for you to have a very sick woman die untended in broad daylight, with human beings baying for her blood like animals? Even animals care more for their own.

Our wrappers might all look different, with varying sizes, shapes and colours, but each and every one of us has a wrapper. Bring that wrapper out to shield another woman, or a man. Use it to help get her a contract, help with her rent, pay her children’s fees, help her with capital for a business or simply a discreet shoulder to cry on. Never let a day go by without bringing out that wrapper. The way God works is that the more wrappers you bring out for others, the more will come out for you. We don’t only need wrappers when we celebrate and buy Aso Ebi. We need the wrappers for our trials and tribulations and we all have them.

The women in the market place might never see the woman they helped again. She might never be able to say thank you. Yet she will never forget that other women stood by her and gave her dignity and covered her nakedness. Are we prepared to cover the nakedness of others, or do we want to be part of the mob that strips them naked? These days there seems to be a war against women. Not only is sexual violence at an all time high, these crimes are now committed in full view of the public. A young woman is accused of stealing and stripped naked, hands all over her and objects being stuck into her. When this happens, what do we do, will we look the other way? When a woman is being harassed online, do we join in the abuse? The more wrappers we bring out, the safer we will all be. There is another conversation to be had with the men, with our male leaders, with those who have the powers and privileges that weaken our agency and make us forget that we have wrappers in the first place. Today, we are talking to and about ourselves.

Let us all agree to bring out our beautiful, strong, diverse wrappers. Our wrappers of respect, love, dignity, support and endless hope. Thank you for bringing out your wrapper Keira. God bless us all.

The Ekiti State First Lady, Bisi Adeleye Fayemi, a Gender Specialist and Social Entrepreneur writes.

The post Where Is Your Wrapper?’ By Bisi Fayemi first appeared on MegaIcon Magazine.

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Since 2000, child deaths have reduced by nearly half and maternal deaths by over one-third, mostly due to improved access to affordable, quality health services.

“In countries that provide everyone with safe, affordable, high-quality health services, women and babies survive and thrive,” said Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, Director-General of WHO. “This is the power of universal health coverage.”

Still, the new estimates reveal that 6.2 million children under 15 years died in 2018, and over 290 000 women died due to complications during pregnancy and childbirth in 2017. Of the total child deaths, 5.3 million occurred in the first 5 years, with almost half of these in the first month of life.

Women and newborns are most vulnerable during and immediately after childbirth. An estimated 2.8 million pregnant women and newborns die every year, or 1 every 11 seconds, mostly of preventable causes, the new estimates say.

Children face the highest risk of dying in the first month, especially if they are born too soon or too small, have complications during birth, congenital defects, or contract infections. About a third of these deaths occur within the first day and nearly three quarters in the first week alone.

“Around the world, birth is a joyous occasion. Yet, every 11 seconds, a birth is a family tragedy,” said Henrietta Fore, UNICEF Executive Director. “A skilled pair of hands to help mothers and newborns around the time of birth, along with clean water, adequate nutrition, basic medicines and vaccines, can make the difference between life and death. We must do all it takes to invest in universal health coverage to save these precious lives.”

Vast inequalities worldwide

The estimates also show vast inequalities worldwide, with women and children in sub-Saharan Africa facing a substantially higher risk of death than in all other regions.

Levels of maternal deaths are nearly 50 times higher for women in sub-Saharan Africa and their babies are 10 times more likely to die in their first month of life, compared to high-income countries.

In 2018, 1 in 13 children in sub-Saharan Africa died before their fifth birthday– this is 15 times higher than the risk a child faces in Europe, where just 1 in 196 children aged less than 5 die.

Women in sub-Saharan Africa face a 1 in 37 lifetime risk of dying during pregnancy or childbirth. By comparison, the lifetime risk for a woman in Europe is 1 in 6500. Sub-Saharan Africa and Southern Asia account for around 80% of global maternal and child deaths. Countries in conflict or humanitarian crisis often have weak health systems that prevent women and children from accessing essential lifesaving care.

Progress linked to universal health coverage

The world has made substantial progress in reducing child and maternal mortality. Since 1990, there has been a 56% reduction in deaths of children under 15 years from 14.2 million deaths to 6.2 million in 2018. Countries in Eastern and South-Eastern Asia have made the most progress, with an 80% decline in under-five deaths.

And from 2000 to 2017, the maternal mortality ratio declined by 38%. Southern Asia has made the greatest improvements in maternal survival with a nearly 60% reduction in the maternal mortality ratio since 2000.

Belarus, Bangladesh, Cambodia, Kazakhstan, Malawi, Morocco, Mongolia, Rwanda, Timor-Leste and Zambia are some of the countries that have shown substantial progress in reducing child or maternal mortality. Success has been due to political will to improve access to quality health care by investing in the health workforce, introducing free care for pregnant women and children and supporting family planning. Many of these countries focus on primary health care and universal health coverage.

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Also, while calling for urgent attention to address issues on domestic abuse, she noted that majority of married women are very unhappy and frustrated in their homes, living in fear, anxiety and stress, adding that statistics revealed that women are more stressed by their husbands than children.

The author and public speaker, Mrs Orija whose primary focus is on women in abusive and toxic relationship made this disclosure in a brief online conference with journalists in Ibadan, the Oyo state on Monday.

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The need for urgent attention to address domestic violence, according to the life coach and energy leadership index master practitioner with specialty on core leadership dynamics, is well articulated in her upcoming book, titled “SPEAK OUT and SHINE”.

Orija further disclosed that the book is meant to raise people’s awareness about damaging consequences of domestic abuse, break it’s cycle and enable victims live a fulfilled happy married life.

The chartered-banker-turned-author noted that the time is ripe for a critical look at how women who are mistreated, humiliated and frustrated are masking and hiding, rather than dealing with issues that affect their lives, family and society at large.

Orija, however urged wives to stop blaming their husbands but rather break down the barriers of religion and culture, putting their lives at risk as well as take responsibility to break abuse cycle and live a happy married life.

While expressing her belief that everyone should live in happy marriage, the women’s right advocate submitted, “relationships should be enjoyed and not endured. Bedrooms are love zones; not war zones, while women need empowerment to achieve their potentials.”

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Lisette Pylant, from Washington DC, agreed to meet the mystery man after a friend had set them up on a date on her birthday.

However, the situation became awkward when another girl turned up at the same bar, with the man forgetting he had double-booked.

Pylant said more dates arrived at the same bar and so she decided to get her own back by stealing his dates to keep her company instead.
The casanova who organised the dates eventually became the subject of a viral Twitter thread, but he has defended his actions.

Justin Schweiger found himself at the centre of a Twitter storm after one of his dates revealed to the world that he had booked six consecutive dates at a bar in Washington DC.

His plan backfired when his date number one, Lisette Pylant, live-tweeted the evening and explained to the other women they were all on dates with the same guy.

In an interview with Inside Edition, Mr. Schweiger said he never meant to be disrespectful to the women, but claims he never actually told them it was a date.

“I do stack my dates. I do typically book them at the same place. I’m very time-oriented, efficiency-oriented,” he explained.

“I’m sorry this happened.”

He added: “But I’ve been very upfront with all of them. I never said, ‘let’s go on a date.’ I always said, ‘Let’s meet for drinks.’

“If I take you on a date, you will know it’s a date. There will be flowers and some dinner and some other cool things involved.”

Since the date night fiasco, the six women have become friends, while the lothario insists: “I’m just looking for love.”

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The Minister made this announcement as she concluded a two-day visit to the DRC, as part of Canada’s re-engagement with Africa and its commitment to work together to address issues facing the continent.

The DRC is one of the poorest countries in the world with more than 87% of its population living on less than $1.25 a day. Years of conflict have resulted in more than 3 million internally displaced people. Women and children are particularly vulnerable as they have limited means to support their families, little access to sexual and reproductive health services, and increased risk of experiencing sexual and gender-based violence.

In line with Canada’s new Feminist International Assistance Policy, the initiatives announced today will help address some of these challenges and improve the lives of the most vulnerable Congolese, particularly women and children, by:

• helping to protect the rights of more than 95,000 street children, at-risk youth and children working in and around mines;
• increasing women’s and girls’ access to the full range of sexual and reproductive health services;
• providing life-saving humanitarian assistance to over 578,000 conflict-affected people; and
• empowering women with the skills and financial products they need to support their communities and families, promoting growth that works for all.

While in the DRC, Minister Bibeau met with a number of women, youth and government officials, as well as development and humanitarian partners, to determine how Canada can best continue to support the advancement of women’s and girls’ rights.

The Minister also stressed the importance of good governance in the DRC. In this context, only a political solution will allow the country to emerge from the crisis. That is why Canada is calling for the implementation of the December 31, 2016, agreement and the holding of presidential elections as soon as possible.

The Minister will now travel to Ghana for a three-day visit to promote and reinforce women’s, girls’ and youth’s empowerment in Africa. For this portion of the trip, the Minister will be accompanied by Right To Play ambassadors Kaylyn Kyle, Olympic bronze medalist for the Canadian soccer team, and Joannie Rochette, Olympic bronze medalist figure skater for Team Canada.

The post Canada backs Democratic Republic of Congo with $97m. first appeared on MegaIcon Magazine.

The post Canada backs Democratic Republic of Congo with $97m. appeared first on MegaIcon Magazine.

By LaRae Quy.

OFTEN I was the only female FBI agent on my squad. I learned how to be successful amidst a variety of situations and circumstances. Most importantly, I learned what not to do if I wanted to compete in a male dominated environment.

I learned that my success was inexorably linked to the choices I made regarding attitude and subsequent actions. More often than not, it was the choice I made to kick myself into high gear rather than relying on someone else to do the kicking.

While every woman has her own definition of success, here are 9 things that successful women never do:

1. Successful Women Never Ignore Their Fears.

If you want to move up, and ahead, you need to confront your fears head-on. Never waste valuable energy trying to avoid them;instead, use mental toughness to manage your thoughts, emotions, and behavior in ways that will set you up for success in business and life.

Suppressing a negative feeling only gives it more power, fueling our fears and slowing us down. In fact, trying to control what we fear will increase the likelihood it will happen.

2. Successful Women Never Run From Conflict.

As a female FBI agent, I got burned by conflict, criticism, and unfairness—just like everyone else. The difference is that I did not cower into accommodating others to avoid enduring those negative feelings again.

People who shy away from conflict assume that conflict always looks aggressive, overbearing, and disrespectful. This is not true because conflict can camouflage itself in many forms. We need to be alert for any behavior from others that is attempting to manipulate our emotions or thoughts. Once we recognize conflict for what it is, we make a choice on how we respond to it, rather than react out of fear or ignorance.

3. Successful Women Never Listen To Their Inner Critic.

I needed to nip that inner critic in the bud and eliminate inner voices of doubt and anxiety. I did this by choosing to focus my attention on positive feedback and constructive criticism—limited as it might be at times.

Mental toughness is being able to control how your mind thinks, rather than letting your mind control you. The key is learning how to manage your emotions with self-talk and using the right (and positive) words when controlling your thoughts.

4. Successful Women Never Expect Perfect Circumstances.

Forget about finding the perfect job or waiting for perfect conditions before making a leap. Learn to differentiate between the pain of growing and the pain of suffering.

It’s easy to say that conditions are poor, nothing is going your way, and that you’ve been dealt an unfair hand. These are all excuses as you move further down the road of surrender.

Use what is at your disposal to keep moving forward in life—take a tip from MacGyver and learn to make the best of your situation. Mental toughness is approaching your circumstances with the right perspective and not expecting a break.

5. Successful Women Never Look At Their Past As A Mistake.

I made a lot of mistakes as a new agent. At times it was embarrassing, but I vowed to learn from each one of them.

Some mistakes from our past can be painful or bad, but instead of wallowing in misery, look at them as opportunities to learn something that you didn’t know before it happened. Walk beside friends and colleagues who have made mistakes—you can learn from them, too.

The past does not define us, it simply prepares us for our journey toward success and wisdom.

6. Successful Women Never Miss Opportunities To Shine.

I knew that many times the best way to be successful was to do what others were unwilling to do.

Identify those things that others hesitate to take on. It can be small and simple—it doesn’t matter. Whatever it is, do it well and you will instantly differentiate yourself from the pack.

Then keep going because you never know where it will lead; often, we don’t know what opportunity looks like until we’re closer to it.

7. Successful Women Never Fail To Keep Their Cool.

No matter my situation, I knew I was in total control of my life.

One of my favorite quotes is from St. Ignatius of Loyola: “Pray as if God will take care of all; act as if all is up to you.”

Many people make excuses for themselves by saying luck determines whether they are successful or not. Mentally strong leaders are in control of their own luck because they see success or failure as something over which they are in control. Luck may have had some role in their present circumstances, but they don’t waste mental energy by worrying about what might happen.

Control your own luck by seizing opportunities to improve your life and situation. The result will either be a lucky break or the regret of a road not taken.

8. Successful Women Never Fail To Do Their Research.

When I interviewed a suspect, I made sure I knew what I was talking about.

When you are meeting with potential investors, clients or customers, make sure you know what you are talking about—know where the landmines are before you open your mouth.

Do your homework; be polished, poised, and prepared.

9. Successful Women Never Say Quit.

No matter how hard the investigation or how difficult the assignment, “quit” was the only four letter word I never heard in my 24 years in the FBI.

When you say “quit” or “can’t,” you are sacrificing ownership and control over your attitude and behavior. It shows you have created your own boundaries. When you say quit, you are sending a message about your fear of failure and a lack of grit in testing your limits.

LaRae Quy was an FBI undercover and counterintelligence agent for 24 years. LaRae is the author of “Secrets Of A Strong Mind” and “Mental Toughness for Women Leaders: 52 Tips To Recognize and Utilize Your Greatest Strengths.” 

Source: Forbes.

The post 9 Things Successful Women Never Do. first appeared on MegaIcon Magazine.

The post 9 Things Successful Women Never Do. appeared first on MegaIcon Magazine.

However, when one or both friends are married to another person, too often the spouse feels threatened by the friendship and it can lead to tensions, distrust, and accusations and can even tear a marriage apart. How should such friendships be handled? What priorities and boundaries should be set?

First of all, I don’t think men and women should build close intimate friendships with each other outside of a committed relationship. It is not appropriate to build emotional closeness without a plan in place to head towards marriage. Men and women can be friends, but they shouldn’t be sharing their deepest feelings and dreams if they want to remain just friends. Intimacy between a man and woman should be reserved for marriage, period. It is part of the beauty and sacredness of marriage that your spouse knows you more deeply and intimately than anyone else. Your spouse alone should know your innermost secrets, hopes, and desires.

A lot of people, however, will object at this point. Men and women can maintain a purely platonic friendship, they say. They will point to a friendship or two in which they were very close but never had feelings for the other person and will testify that their close friendships of the opposite sex have been good for them, filled a need for them, etc.  My response to that is that of course these friendships fill a need – a need that should be filled by your spouse (or your future spouse). We all have a deep desire to be intimately known, to be accepted just as we are, to make deep emotional connections with another. But this need was meant to bring a husband and wife together to fill this need in each other. It is not appropriate to fill this need outside of marriage any more than it is appropriate to fill the need for sex outside marriage.  The problem is, we like to think in little boxes. We want to put emotional closeness and sexual attraction in separate boxes and pretend that they’re totally unconnected. We believe we can have emotional closeness with someone of the opposite sex without having “feelings” for them. The problem is, we aren’t robots that can put things in little boxes and keep them that way. We are integrated beings. We are designed to build emotional closeness that leads to physical attraction and its culmination in physical and emotional unity through sex. Again, that’s supposed to draw a husband and wife together. The marriage relationship is about more than just having sex. For that matter, sex is more than just a physical act. Sex is a physical, emotional, and spiritual bonding experience that is designed to merge two people into a single unit. Just as physical closeness (such as kissing and cuddling) are preparation for this marital unification, so too is emotional closeness. The physical and the emotional go hand in hand to bring the kind of unity that God designed marriage to be.

Because of this, when you are married, emotional intimacy with someone other than your spouse is cheating. It may not be physical, but it’s still sharing with someone else what should only be shared with your spouse. Such emotional affairs are not only wrong in themselves, but dangerous. Most adulterous affairs begin with a seemingly innocent emotional closeness with an opposite sex friend. It’s part of God’s design for our sexuality that we feel physical desire when we have emotional intimacy. This is a beautiful truth within marriage. Emotional closeness brings husband and wife together to show their love for each other physically, and the physical act of sex bonds them even tighter emotionally. Both male and female bodies even release a hormone called oxytocin that triggers emotional bonding after sex. This is the way God meant it to be within marriage. But when a person allows emotional closeness to form with someone to whom they are not married, their body will, sooner or later, want to respond as if they were married. Even if an emotional affair does not become a physical one, it still causes damage to the marriage relationship. For one thing, the emotional energy that is invested in the inappropriate friendship is energy that is not invested where it should be – in the marriage. If you feel the need to express hidden desires and feelings to someone else, it is a sign that your marriage has a problem and your immediate response should be to work to fix the problem and restore intimacy in your marriage. Sharing with another person of the opposite sex ignores the problem, allowing the gap to widen between husband and wife, while also building closeness with someone else. No wonder it leads to so many problems. In addition, when a spouse learns of an emotional affair, they often feel betrayed (and for good reason). This can cause a lot of hurt as well as further rifts in the relationship. Thus, even when an inappropriate friendship does not turn physical, it is still extremely harmful. Because of the design of our sexuality, we need to guard our hearts in order to protect our marriages. While men and women can be platonic friends, that will only happen if there is an emotional reserve between them. In other words, we should not build intimate friendships with the opposite sex outside of marriage. With this is mind, we should be extremely careful what we share with others, especially those of the opposite sex. Even what is shared with friends of the same sex should be limited (though, obviously, there’s less cause for concern that inappropriate sharing will lead to inappropriate physical acts). The need to share your inner desires and feelings should bring you back to your spouse to fill that need.

Note:

A question that often arises is what to do when a husband and wife are having problems and they can’t seem to talk to each other or regain the intimacy in their marriage. The default position should be to work out your problems with your spouse, not to talk to someone else about how to “fix” your marriage. However, sometimes there is a rift that does require outside advice. Sometimes counseling is needed. Ideally, a husband and wife should see a counselor together, but that requires both spouses to participate. Sometimes a spouse has to get help alone. In that case, here is my advice. Anyone you tell about your marriage struggles should be:

Your same sex,

A happily married mentor figure, and

Given only enough detail to allow them to help and pray for you.

You want to avoid using anyone (male or female) as a dumping bin for all of your frustrations instead of working them out as a couple. And you want to avoid ranting about your spouse on a regular basis to someone who takes your side all the time. This will only cause you to focus on the negative qualities and turn your heart further away from your spouse. The proper kind of mentor figure, if you must confide in one, will challenge you to change yourself, not your spouse. After all, you are the only one you can change.

By Ogunkoya Odunayo.

The post Opposite sex friendships After Marriage:Can Men and Women be Just Friends? first appeared on MegaIcon Magazine.

The post Opposite sex friendships After Marriage:Can Men and Women be Just Friends? appeared first on MegaIcon Magazine.