· TRYING TO PROVE INNOCENCE
When people lie, they tend to look for various excuses to backup their points. They often tell more than the required in this process. A co-marriage counselor once told me of a client who explained to her that the very first thing she noticed in her husband was his long answers to simple questions. Imagine asking, ‘why are you late?’ and you start listening to a long expository. He or she starts making up stories that is longer than the entire desperate housewives series, then something is wrong. Not only this, they also provide a ready alibi (they become a criminal over-ridden with guilt, but still they try to prove their innocence). Just think of it, why your partner is going through all this just to prove innocence over a relatively simple matter. HONEST PEOPLE GIVE SIMPLE AND STRAIGHTFORWARD ANSWERS.
However, you need to be very careful when using this, he/she may just be trying to prove a point, and so be a good listener. Sometimes, your partner may just be a chatterbox, knowing your partner well enough is required in this regard. Only apply the rule if it is unlike your partner.
CHECK THE BODY LANGUAGE
Reactions are very difficult to control. It takes an entirely strong personality to do this. Most of our physical reactions occur subconsciously. Therefore, it is important for you to take note of your partner’s body languages, this because in their bid to cook up a good and believable story, they make mistakes, the subconscious however could be your mirror to the truth and a closer watch at facial expressions gives out concealed intentions. This may be all you need to catch a cheater. It includes;
· Uneasiness and fidgeting
· Head or neck scratching
· Avoiding of eye contact
· Trying to hide face
·Getting handy e.g. trying to touch or hold something.
Just look carefully, you will find the hidden truth through their nervousness
However, in cold weather conditions, some of the aforementioned attributes may occur, due to exposure to atmospheric conditions. Therefore, ascertain that it is actually nervousness that is responsible for the naivety and fidgeting.
•REPEAT YOUR QUESTIONS
Sometimes we do have smart cheats. They give a convincing story without fidgeting. To nail this set of people, you need to repeat your questions after sometime. Once you notice any inconsistency, then he/she is a lying bastard. They do bring out new facts and new stories, they sometimes forget the golden rule of a liar, ‘do not forget’. In addition, once they feel you are catching up on them, they tend to give you the guilt stricken lines, ‘don’t you think I am telling the truth?’ or ‘don’t you trust me anymore?
In this case however, no reversal, they either give you a consistent answer or they are cheats. Justmake sure your questions are statement-like, do not accuse.
·PLAY THE DETECTIVE (SHERLOCK HOLMES)
In this case, you have only one suspect, your partner, not an invincible criminal.
Therefore,check every details yourself i.e. the odometer, credit card details, look at the clothes for strange smells and stains.
However, do not get caught in the act, because it may totally ruin tour relationship, so play it cool, nice and smart.
Remember, do not accuse your partner, have a very strong proof before doing so. Give your suspect a lot of time, space and situations to make a lot of errors.RELATIONSHIP IS ALL ABOUT TRUST.
Feel free to post your comments, share your thoughts and question the author. I will be available to give answers. Thank you for reading.
By Oyekunle Oyeniyi.
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