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LOVE OR MONEY, which is of more value in marriage?

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MARRIAGE is a formal union between a man and woman which is recognized by custom, religion and law. Our discussion for this edition will be based on love and money in relation to marriage. Love and money are two things that individuals feel strongly about. A lot of relationships are started because of the need for either of the two. Now the question to be trashed is which one of the two ‘love or money’ should be regarded as the key to a successful marriage.

The dictionary defines Love as “a strong affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons”.

Love is a very important issue in marriage; love comes first in any healthy relationship. Love is a behavior. A relationship thrives when partners are committed to behaving lovingly through continual, unconditional giving. Intimate love emanates from knowledge and giving, it comes not overnight but overtime which nearly always means after marriage. The intensity many couples feel before marrying is usually great affection boosted by commonality, chemistry and anticipation.

These may be the seeds of love but yet to sprout. On the wedding day, emotions run high, but true love should be at its lowest, because it will hopefully always be growing, as husband and wife gives more and more to each other. ‘Love is for better or worse which means till death do us part, but today love is for better or best’.

Love should be the criteria for marriage, when there is true love in a marriage, the marriage brings mutual comfort and each member of the family grow as a person in love and security. Loving someone and being in loved brings happiness. Love is essential to the human race. We need to help each other, cooperate with each other, and reaffirm each other. Love finds its natural and proper expression in the union of two persons.

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Love is considered to give meaning to life to overcome all obstacles and to offer a share in eternity. Respect for the dignity of the beloved is given in union through marriage.

On the other hand , ‘Money’ can be described as “a person’s wealth, including properties”. Money is an aspect of marriage which must not be neglected.

The main purpose of money in marriage is to provide for the family, have control over the family and make the family comfortable. Money has answers to all things, likewise money is the root of all evil, money has become reason why people kill, steal and destroy. There are so many cases where spouse betray and even kill one another for money; in such marriages do you think love was the foundation or money. Money is one thing that cannot be taken out of marriage. Money fuels the love one has for a spouse.

For most marriages, money has the main contention as some people say ‘no money, no love’, money prevail love in today’s society but come to think of it, for instance, it is believed that you can get all you want through money, money can generate love but can it buy love?. If love is like religion, then it cannot be bought nor can it be negotiated and compromised, Love seems to be similar to both, but identical to either.

Money is still very essential in marriage because with money you can finance the family, make connections for the family and also make lovely home. But if money is said to answer all things ‘why do you think we have high rate of divorce among the rich families?’

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The role of money in generating or in transacting loving relationships is expressed, for example, in the content of personal advertisement seeking romantic partners, thus, the requirement that prospective partners are financially secure is often mentioned in adverts placed by women.

Indeed, while both men and women consider good looking partners, some consider other qualities, such as status and money, to compensate for looks. It is interesting to note that many men prefer a spouse who makes less money than they do and whose occupational status is low than theirs.

But this is due to men’s concern about their self-esteem rather than to the issue of love. It might, however, be indicated that money influence the generation of love. Money can improve our situation in a way that gives us more occasions for happiness but all the same can it be all it takes to have a happy and successful marriage.

At this junction, is it true that “true love can never be bought by gold or silver” nor should we say “money answered everything”?

Agreeing with various opinions, love is said to come first in any relationship, so it should be the most paramount criteria for successful marriage. Following the views, love should not be one-sided which means that “love is like a rubber band held at both ends by two people and when one leaves it hurts the other”.

Despite all that have been discussed, the decision still depends on individual. Love, accompanied with understanding and a bit of adjustment, makes a marriage go a long way, with money to handle the cost of transportation, of course. The two aspects, love and money is a decision you cannot make for any one depending on the relationship.

To make the point, if you were stuck on a desert island, would you rather have N1billion or some water and a raft? I think it’s more about understanding the emotional response that money causes in people and how this influences love.

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However, the goal of a person is to find someone that has a total package that is valuable to a person, no matter whom you choose there are upgrades out there in certain areas.

There is someone with better heart, someone with better looks, someone with more money and someone who is better at making you a better person. It all comes down to the balance at all attribute that are desirable to a person which means despite what has been said this issue still depends on individual interest. The most important is to find the best package for yourself; this does not mean that anyone is perfect in all areas.

 

(C) Mega Icon Magazine.

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Chinese woman stuck in blind date’s house after lockdown

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Ms Wang has spent at least four days locked down with her date

Imagine being on a first date you couldn’t end? That’s what happened to a woman in China whose video blogs about going into a citywide lockdown during a blind date have gone viral.

Over 100 virus cases have been reported in the central Chinese city of Zhengzhou since last week, as China battles to contain multiple local outbreaks of the Delta and Omicron variants.

Parts of the city were abruptly placed under lockdown last Wednesday when a woman surnamed Wang was having dinner at her blind date’s house.

“Just after I arrived in Zhengzhou, there was an outbreak, and his community was put under lockdown and I could not leave,” Wang told Shanghai-based outlet The Paper on Tuesday, adding that she went there for a week-long trip to meet potential suitors.

“I’m getting old now, my family introduced me to ten matches… The fifth date wanted to show off his cooking skills and invited me over to his house for dinner.”

Since then, Wang has posted short videos documenting her daily life in lockdown, which show her date cooking meals for her, doing household chores, and working at his laptop while she sleeps in, according to clips published by local media.

So far it seems romance has yet to blossom during their prolonged date, according to Wang who says she’s looking for a more talkative partner.

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“Besides the fact that he’s as mute as a wooden mannequin, everything else (about him) is pretty good,” Wang told The Paper. “Despite his food being mediocre, he’s still willing to cook, which I think is great.”

Wang did not disclose her age or the identity of the man in the videos.

Related hashtags have racked up over six million views on the Twitter-like social media site Weibo by Wednesday.

However, Wang said the recent surge in online attention prompted her to remove the videos.

“Friends have been calling him and I think this has definitely affected his life, so I have taken them down for now,” she said in a video posted Tuesday that was widely republished in Chinese local media.

“Thanks, everyone for your attention… I hope the outbreak ends soon and that my single sisters also find a relationship soon.”

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UAE issues first civil marriage license for non- muslim couple

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The UAE issued its first civil marriage license for a non-Muslim couple, state media reported Monday, as the Gulf country seeks to keep its edge over regional competitors.

The United Arab Emirates — where foreigners make up 90 percent of the approximately 10-million population — has been amending its laws to present itself as a modernising force in a largely conservative region.

The official WAM news agency said a Canadian couple were the first to marry under a new law on the personal status of non-Muslims in the Emirati capital Abu Dhabi.

The move “contributes to the consolidation of Abu Dhabi’s position as a world leading destination for skills and expertise from around the world,” WAM said.

Civil marriage in the Middle East, the birthplace of Islam, Christianity and Judaism, is uncommon and usually conducted under a religious authority of one of the three monotheistic beliefs.

Civil marriages are allowed in Tunisia and Algeria.

While some countries in the region allow civil unions based on certain conditions, some only recognise civil marriages conducted abroad and others not at all.

Late last year, the UAE revamped an array of laws in a social liberalisation drive designed to burnish its progressive brand.

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These included lifting a ban on unmarried couples living together, loosening restrictions on alcohol and offering long-term residencies.

Earlier this month, the UAE announced it will move to a Western-style Saturday-Sunday weekend.

Starting on January 1, 2022, the Emirates will become the only Gulf country not to observe weekends from Friday, the Muslim day of prayer, to Saturday.

Competition is hotting up as neighbouring Saudi Arabia, seeking to diversify its oil-reliant economy, aims to turn its capital Riyadh into an international hub.

Saudi Arabia has lifted a ban on women drivers and eased its strict Islamic dress code.

Last year, Riyadh said it would not sign contracts with companies that have their regional headquarters outside the kingdom.

 

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Happy posthumous birthday, my husband, best friend – Florence Ajimobi pens emotional message to late hubby

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I’m glad to be able to write again. I recently reclined into my shell (guess I’m allowed to sometimes, as a human being) but I just cannot let this season pass without saying how special it is, especially because it is your birthday season. Even death cannot stop me from celebrating you.

December 16 has always been one of my favourite days in the year because it is your day and on this day, the children and I get to show you how much we appreciate you for being the best husband and dad in the world. I promise to continue to celebrate this special day as long as there is breath in me.
I look back at your landmark birthdays and I smile at all the beautiful memories.

Your 40th birthday in 1989 was a very special one. It was the first big party we ever hosted. We also used that opportunity to have the house warming ceremony of our Oluyole house. You never liked to be the centre of attraction and kept complaining about having a party and spending so much money after moving into a new house. I didn’t listen to you and went ahead to celebrate you in my own way. I remember vividly, the blue and white lace dress I made for both of us. You came to me during the party and said “Florie this fabric will be very nice as a bedspread so after the party, you can make my agbada into a bedspread”. I asked you why and you said you wouldn’t wear it again as it was too heavy. I just laughed and walked away. But you did enjoy yourself and that was enough for me.

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Your 50th birthday in 1999 was also held in Ibadan. We lived in Lagos at that time but every special day of our lives were celebrated in Ibadan. As usual, I went all out to have a party for you and invited all your friends from Lagos and other parts of the country. You danced so well at the party and you were sprayed a lot of money which I gladly kept for myself. After all, I was the assistant celebrant and planner. You had so much fun and told me after the party “Florie I am now beginning to enjoy your parties”. That actually made me happy.

Your 60th birthday was on another level. That was one party you never complained about. You were a politician and we had to accommodate the politicians as well. We had a big party at the Recreation Centre, Ibadan in 2009. Our children, already grown also invited their friends. I saw a different Abiola and I kept wondering how you accepted the entire party plan without complaining. I remember how your mum (of blessed memory) graced the party with her friends from Gbagi. Her gele was ‘Onile Gogoro’. It was enormous and beautiful. No one needed to be told that Mama was very proud of you. You both even had a mother and son dance (at a birthday party). You were happy and kept saying, “Thank you Florie” even days after the party.

On your 69th birthday, we decided to have a roundtable, as opposed the usual birthday party and during the roundtable, you said, “Florie, this is how I want to celebrate my birthday every year – I don’t want a party, I want something intellectual.” I remember murmuring to myself, ‘here he goes again, Efiko’ but I knew that I would do everything within my power to make it happen again.

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The next roundtable on your 70th was organized by the children without any input from us. Initially, you were paranoid about them doing this but at the end of it all you were thrilled at the fact that our children proved that they could handle such an important event on their own. You said, “Florie, now you know my children are not spoilt – they organized this event without us and it is the BEST PARTY ever.” I was elated to see you beaming with joy and most importantly, pride.

I am thankful to God that even without you here, I have the grace and strength to do what I enjoy doing – telling the world how special you are to me and how you will live in my heart forever. Shame on you, Death! You can never kill my LOVE for Abiola Adeyemi Ajimobi.

Then last year, we hosted the first Senator Abiola Ajimobi Foundation (SAAF) Roundtable without you. It was tough but God remained faithful. I cried that morning when I went to the venue to make sure everything was fine. I kept saying to myself, “what will Abiola say?”, “what will Abiola do?” My Abiola was a perfectionist. I am grateful to God that the event went even better than I expected. Thank God for the great support system I have. I couldn’t believe that same venue which was filled with so much joy the previous year was where we were celebrating your posthumous birthday , but who am I to question God?

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As we prepare to celebrate you on your 72nd posthumous birthday roundtable, I want to reiterate and reaffirm that you were the best thing that ever happened to me.

You were my perfect man,
My best friend,
My hero!

I will forever love you and hold you in my heart.
Life has not been easy for me and the children without you, but we will continue to hold on firmly to GOD.

Rest on, my ever selfless, loving, caring, protective, dependable and romantic best friend. If there is reincarnation, I will choose you over and over again as my husband.
I love you and I miss you.
Happy Birthday my best friend and soul mate.

Your Masterpiece of Nature,
FFA.

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